To Be Honest

two

I quickly opened the door home and tried to run upstairs, into my room, without anybody noticing it but my mother unfortunately had ears like a fox. 

"Ellie! Do you even stop greeting me now? Come right back!," my mother shouted when I almost got to my room. Unwillingly, I stomped the stairs right back and went into the kitchen just to see my mother standing there with a mad expression and her arms crossed.

"Hello, mom," I said, not looking into her eyes but starring at the ground. I couldn't stand her presence right now, but then again, neither my dad's.

"Excuse me, but you're talking to your mother, not the kitchen floor, are you?," my mother asked furiously.

"And you're talking with your daughter, not some criminal, are you?" I shouted back. 

That's why I wanted to go straight into my room! I knew that any conversation I would hold with my mother would escalate.

She took a deep breath and touched her temples just to look at me again, but this time her eyes softened a bit.

"I know this is very hard for you as well, okay? But sometimes you can't just think about yourself. It is damn hard for me too, okay Ellie? I never wanted this either so now we have to stick together and try to make the best of it instead of shouting at each other, don't you agree?," she explained and watching her eyes tearing up, I couldn't hold it anymore and ran out of the room and into my room.

I shut the door violently and pressed my face into my pillow. I knew my mother was probably crying down there and I hated myself for being the reason. I hated myself for being the reason my whole family was breaking apart.

At times like these I'd usually call Beth and talk to her so I can calm down a bit but I guess that was not possible either now. And looking back, she was really the only person I could rely on when I was sad. I was all alone without her.

I realized that I needed her more than I thought and maybe that's the reason why she did that. Did I annoy her that much?

I felt like my whole world was falling apart and the ground that I felt under my feet was slowly slipping away. My parents would divorce soon and I was sure it was because of me, and my boyfriend betrayed me - with no other than my best friend. They were right when they said that bad luck never comes alone.

Suddenly I heard a loud noise coming from my window. When I looked at it, I found out it was because someone threw a stone against it.

And I knew that only one person in this world would do something stupid like this.

I opened my window and stretched my head out of it just to shout:

"Fuck off!"

I smashed it close again because I thought life couldn't take the piss out of me any further. First taking away all of the people that I love and now sending me this douche bag to make it even worse?!

Of course this idiot wouldn't stop and I heard him throwing five further stones crashing against my window. Why of all people did he have to be my neighbour?

Before he would break the glass (since I was sure he would have continued if I hadn't stopped him), I opened my window once more and felt bad because he won again.

"What the hell do you want from me? Aidan? I really don't have any nerve left for you to kill it, so please just let me be, will you?," I said looking up because his house was right next to ours and his room was, of course, directly facing mine so we could basically see each other anytime we'd look out of the window.

Maybe that's the reason I covered it with a huge Ed Sheeran poster.

"I knew you were lonely so I had to cheer you up a bit," he said with his usual stupid face and his usual stupid voice.