Forever And Ever (BTS)

Chapter 3

Yoongi slouched in his seat as his teacher droned on and on. What was the use of learning about trigonometry when they weren't going to use it? He started to zone out, instead thinking of lyrics he could write later on. The teacher saw him clearly not paying attention, but did nothing. She knew there was no point in trying to get him to listen, not when he firmly believed the topics were useless and refused to learn them in the first place. She simply sighed and went back to teaching.

Break time had arrived. Yoongi remained at his desk, and got his notebook out. He preferred solitude to the hustle and bustle of the canteen. The teacher even let him eat in the classroom. As his classmates left, a group of boys came up to him. "Staying here alone again, loser? No wonder you have no friends!" They laughed with malice and finally walked out. Yoongi stayed silent, determined not to react. On the inside, though, he was seething. Did they really have nothing better to do? But he knew bullies eventually gave up if the victim didn't react. So he did his best to look unbothered, hoping that one day, they would stop.

Yoongi had always been the weird one in the class. While others were eager to learn, he was adament in thinking that there was no point in what they were learning. He disagreed with the whole system. Because of this, everyone deemed him as someone who was not worthy of their company, someone who was too different to hang out with them. He had no problem with it, he didn't want to be friends with people who were mean anyway. But his delight at being alone had only isolated him even more. He got teased mercilessly, getting called names like "loner boy" everyday. He didn't care, he thought he dealt with it well enough anyway. As long his brothers didn't know. If they found out, they'd get overprotective, and while he appreciated their care, he didn't want to burden them and make them worry. They didn't deserve that. And so he carried the weight of the insults on his own, his family being his only source of happiness.

As he walked home with his brothers, he felt particularly exhausted from the school day, and so he was more affectionate than usual. He tenderly held Hoseok's hand, surprising him. "Are you okay, hyung?" Hoseok asked. Yoongi kept a straight face as he answered, "This is a one-time thing. Don't think anything of it." Yet, his heart wished for more of the warmth and comfort he felt just from the feeling of Hoseok's hand in his.

He went to his bed after greeting his parents. He got his notebook and scribbled lyric after lyric. The anger and sadness all spilled out onto the page. He mainly found solace in his words since he didn't want to share his struggles with the rest. But lately, he'd felt like writing wasn't helping as much anymore. He'd write multiple pages and still not feel any better. He was worried, he didn't know what else could help him lift the weight. What would he do if writing no longer helped? He would be stuck bottling all his feelings. Because he would still refuse to tell his brothers. The thought  of this pushed Yoongi to write even more in the hopes that his emotions would settle eventually. He wrote about anything under the sun in desperation for hours and hours. But nothing improved. Finally, in a moment of pure rage and frustration, he ripped the newly-filled pages out and tore them into a million tiny pieces.

"Hyung, what happened? Is everything alright?" Namjoon peeked in. Yoongi started picking up the pieces of paper, "Everything's fine, Joon. I'm alright." If only he could believe it himself.

Huh, the pieces remind me of my heart, broken into tiny fragments. Funny.

He tried to laugh at himself, maybe he'd make himself feel a little lighter with the so-called joke. But try as he might to find laughter, he couldn't.

The jagged pieces went into the bin.