Heart Strings

Unlikely

After idling by and circling around-quite a few times, actually-the partially empty halls of the school we were to leave soon, I couldn't help but reminisce the moments I spent in specific spots I passed by. Like that wooden bench placed right against the wall; I remember slouching against the cold cement while I played my ukulele too eagerly. (I always did want you to listen to the songs I sang.) Or perhaps the corner near the stairwell, the place where you first called out my name. I remember that moment quite clearly. The chocolate tasted really nice.

Now, while I walked passed the people who I do not know, I couldn't help but feel a little ashamed. Surely they have seen me from earlier, walking back and forth to who-knows-where. Where was I headed anyway? Actually, I don't know myself. Maybe I do. Perhaps, I just don't want to admit to the fact that I'm actually waiting for someone again.

For you.

Yes, I realized that when you opened the door and you came out, staring right into my eyes. I couldn't tell if you were shocked or surprised. Maybe I read your facial expressions wrongly and you actually looked bored. But at that moment, I felt a weird sense of finding what I didn't know I was looking for. While you greeted me and sparked a conversation, I found myself stuttering a little, tumbling over my words as if I had too much to say but few little words to express myself with. Maybe it was from the surprise brought by your presence which seemed to unnerve me. Maybe it was because I could feel the emotions I once thought were dead. Either way, I stuttered. I wonder if you noticed.

As we walked, I remembered how your hand grazed my shoulder earlier because you suddenly touched my face and squeezed my cheek. Physical contact has never been a norm between the two of us. It was strange. Does this have something to do with your words from the night before? Did you actually mean it? Or am I just overthinking? Maybe I'm setting myself up for disappointment again.

Whatever the case, the likeliness of this leading to a good thing is somewhat of a zero.

- bee.