A jar of Thoughts

Dog vs Cat (Rap battle!!)

Normal font: Dog

Italics: Cat

~*~*~

Aight, I’m going to play it nice

It ain’t too hard to beat

The one who plays with mice

High maintenance, yeah

You think you’re so chic

But after a bath

You look like a little fur-balled freak!

Scratching everything in sight

Yet with no luck with the lotto

Most of the time

You’re just a lazy couch potato

I am the man’s best friend

Complete with the loyalty

But you’re still stuck in Egypt

Believing you’re royalty!

Well, I pity you canine

Perhaps you’ve lost your head

It wouldn’t be the first time

I mean, you still think you’re best

Well at least I’m not the ugly one

Who’ll never be independent

‘Cause you can’t even be satisfied

Without human attendance

And please don’t get me started

On that annoying bark of yours

If you wanted people’s attention

You should've shut your jaws

No one likes to hear a dog yapping

In the morning or at night

So forget playing with dogs toys

And realize – cats are right.

It looks like the claws are out

Ooh, I’m so afraid

I think I’ve just won this little

Cat and mouse game we’ve played

Humour me once more little feline

With that snarky catty attitude

I’ll even wait until the hairball is out

To continue our little feud

I’ve got more purpose in life

Than just to eat and take a piss

I think you’ll find me right

Now quieten that annoying hiss!

I must admit, I enjoy human company

At least I’m not anti-social

So do the doggy dance and celebrate

My victorious proposal ;)

Afraid you should be senseless dog

Cat’s don’t go down without a fight

But I don’t even need to flinch ‘cause

My words can beat your bite

We may seem a little innocent

On the outside we’re fat and swollen

But dear doggy tell that to the birds

And mice that we have stolen

Wait, is that the roller door?

Oh damn, you just got scared

Did little doggy woggy wet the kennel?

It looks like I’ve won fair and square.

‘Shut up dog!’ you hear that?

They’re only screaming about you

Here comes your angry owner

Oh crap! She’s got the broom and shoe!

~*~*~

This was co-written non other than the awesome Ms.Curiousraccoon herself, who has written from a cat's point of view (in italics).

Hope this was able to make you laugh, or even just a giggle :)