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(Vivian POV)

Clouds were black and grey, the rain kept falling as it would never come to an end. The sun's rays were less than half compared to the sky that was missing all its colors and joy. Keeping my thoughts away from him kept getting harder the further I walked away.

The streets at this time were almost entirely empty, only faded sounds of cars passing by broke the silence. Losing him had been a horrific thought throughout my entire life, but now that nightmare became reality as I left him.

My world had collapsed and fell apart like never before, I knew this time, it wouldn't fall back together. As we grew older and became aware, it truly felt like they say it does, my heart skipped beats, my stomach tied painful knots and my toes curled up as it finally hit me; I was falling in love.

When he was gone again, I was left in a river us tears, maybe enough to actually drown myself. It hurt so bad that it barely felt real. Of course, I had cried before, maybe even worse than this, but at the moment it feels horrific an absolutely terrifying feeling. I sunk deep down in my bed to drown my thoughts in sad songs and ice cream, but even weeks after I couldn't let the thought of him go. Distracting myself didn't seem to work anymore, and slowly I had driven myself insane.

Months passed by without progress, the other half of me was gone, the reason I smiled was gone and wouldn't come back.

Every dream was about him. Him, more of him, only him. I didn't ask for it, even if I hadn't thought much about him, he just seemed to appear everywhere. It was a horrific thought to think this was the end of my little world with him, but without him, I was faced with the entire reality that hurt every part of me so utterly.

It took time to get myself distracted, time for me to recover but of course, I had never forgotten a thing. My only dearest brother turned out to be my life's biggest lie, I blamed my parents the most, but still, I couldn't forgive myself for believing in them. Jeon Jungkook isn't my brother, somehow that feeling always stuck with me in every minute of being around him. A love like that couldn't possibly be among two siblings.

After a few months I had decided to move in with my parents again, not in our house, but moving with them around the world seemed better than staying with Jungkook. I told them everything, everything that I knew and all about their lies. Their explanation included a lot of "sorry", "forgive us." and after hours of them talking, I finally got the information I had needed.

Jungkook was right, he wasn't nor had ever been my brother or family.

My parents felt bad with themselves, and honestly, I didn't judge them, after all, they had been lying to their children throughout their whole life.

Now and then I asked myself, how could I never have noticed the difference between us? How had nobody else noticed it?


- 5 months later -


Slowly, the sun crept down behind the hills outside our house, instantly darkening the whole area.

It was Saturday, many months after moving into my temporarily house along with my parents. It was hard, but I had managed to forgive them looking past all their lies and betrays.

I hadn't spoken to Jungkook since I left that day, nor had my parents, it's not like they cared anyways, but still, I was thankful they let me stay.

It was killing me to stay away from him, as much as I wanted to run back into his arms, say that I had forgiven him, stay close to him forget, I couldn't do it.

I had slowly driven myself insane within the first few months of being away from him, the lack of sleep became worse along with the stress and insanity that followed.

The bedsheets were all wrinkled since I almost hadn't left my bed the whole day, even though the sun had shined brightly outside.

"What I'd do to have you here," I slowly said to myself, shifting back and forth on my bed trying to get comfortable, but it didn't work.

I craved so desperately for something I couldn't have at the moment, his warm hands around me, his big brown deer eyes staring into mine for eternity, my fingers running through his soft locks.

"Vivian?" The voice of my mother called from the other side of my door, her voice was filled with sorrow, something I hadn't heard often.

With concern and wonder, I drag myself up from the messy bed and reached out to open the wooden door to my room.

There in the doorframe stood my mother with a wrinkled forehead, eyes so red and teary as if she had been crying for hours. The sight scared me, I had never seen my mother in this condition before.

At a loss of words I stood and stared at her, trying to forgive out whether to speak or stay silent.

"Vivian, it's about Jungkook." She said, her body almost shaking as if she was trying to remain calm, but failed miserably. "He's not well."

As his name left her lips, I instantly tensed up, my heart started beating uncontrollably fast with the speed of light.

Desperately, I tried forming a sentence to speak, but it was an impossible task to get the words out of my mouth like my tongue was tied.

"He's sick?" I finally managed to ask my mother, standing up straight and trying to breathe calmly as I waited for the answer.

"He's in a hospital, Vivian, a psychiatric hospital." My mom struggled to speak, her voice sounded weak and raspy.

My heart stopped for a second, so did my breathing, my thinking. Everything seemed to be going blank for a few seconds as I tried to process what I had just heard my mother say.



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{author}

uUUUHHH IM SO EXCITED FOR THISSS. I have been waiting to update and I'm so excited to finally be writing on nr. 2 of "my younger brother"

Get ready for a whole lot of stuff to happen!!

Thank you for everyone who's voted and commented lovely things on the first chapter, I love you all so much.

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