A/N sorry it's late. Hope you like it tho. Muh. 😘😘😘 -Shelby ❤️
*~* JJ *~*
I'm jealous of Daniela.
She gets to be with Jack and they get to be cute and all that together and what am I to Jack? Just a friend, because if he knew I liked him he'd think I were crazy.
There I said it. I like Gilinsky. A lot. A lot more than a friend should like their best friend.
"JJ are you sure you're okay?" Gil asks. AGAIN.
"Yes. I'm okay Gil. I promise."
He looks at me long and hard. "Okay."
"Okay. Well I'll be back. I'm gonna go shower." I decide getting up and heading to my dresser to grab a change of clothes and going off to the bathroom, which is in our room- thank God. I hate community bathrooms.
Jack just nods and says, "Okay."
I go into the bathroom and lock the door and strip down and climb into the shower. Once I'm under the warm water, I grab my razor and cut a few slits into my wrists with the blade. Soon my blood flows down my arm and tints the water a pinkish red color.
My tears begin to mix with the blood and water as I finish my shower, crying softly.
Cutting is one of the only things that helps me through the day, it's bad and I love the way it makes me feel, even though it's a really bad addiction.
I wash my hair and my body real quick, being careful of my fresh cuts. After I'm done, I get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself and clean my cuts, making sure they're no longer bleeding.
Afterwards, I pull on a pair of boxers and my tshirt. I check my phone.
It's already 10:30. Good Lord. How long was I in the fucking shower?? I also have a couple of texts.
NEW MESSAGE:
Mallory ❤️ (2)
Gil 😝😎 (2)
FROM: Mallory ❤️
Hey babe. What's up? You've been acting strange lately. You've barely texted me recently. Is everything okay??
FROM: Mallory ❤️
Babe? Hello.
FROM: Gil 😝😎
Dude are you okay? You've been in the shower a while...
FROM: Gil 😝😎
JJ? Hello. Are you okay?
TO: Mallory ❤️
Hi. Sorry I was in the shower. I'm okay.
TO: Gil 😝😎
I'll be out in a moment. I lost track of time while I was showering. 😂
FROM: Gil 😝😎
😂 haha ok. Good to know you're okay and stuff!
TO: Gil 😝😎
Yup. I'm all good. Promise!
FROM: Gil 😝😎
Good! 😂
FROM: Mallory ❤️
Ok good. So how's the university of Nebraska?????
TO: Mallory ❤️
It's pretty good. Lol. How's your college?
FROM: Mallory ❤️
Fantastic! I love my roomie to death. Her name is Cassie.
TO: Mallory ❤️
Oooohhhhh sounds like someone carter would like 😂
FROM: Mallory ❤️
That's the cute thing. Cassie's Asian! Those two would be perfect together. ❤️😍
TO: Mallory ❤️
Hook em up!!!!!
FROM: Mallory ❤️
Will do honey boo. ❤️😘😍 well hey I gtg I've got classes in the early morning
TO: Mallory ❤️
Ok. By babe ily. 😘
FROM: Mallory ❤️
Ily too babe. 😘😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Forever and always.
TO: Mallory ❤️
Forever and always.
Forever and always. I smile to myself, despite the shitty day I'm having and exit the bathroom.
"Yay! You're alive!" Gil jokes.
I laugh. "Yeah. Sorry I started texting Mallory after I got out of the shower and got dressed and stuff. And yeah."
"It's okay." Gil then looks at my wrist, looking curious. "What's wrong with your wrist?" He asks walking closer to look at my bracelet covered wrists. "Jack. What... What is this?" He asks looking up from my wrist to my eyes, tears in his beautiful brown eyes. "Jack. Why?" A couple tears roll down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry." I say, beginning to cry a little along with him.
"But why?"
"I can't take the hate... It gets to me so I cut to feel better."
"Jack. I love you don't do this to yourself." He says and kisses my wrists and all the little cuts.
"I love you too." I tell him.
"Everything will be okay. I'll stop the hate. I'll find a way to stop it, to keep you from hurting. I promise." And then Jack starts to lean towards me.
And then I wake up. Fuck me.
It was all a dream. I mean... The whole Jack and I kissing thing. I did shower but Gil was "asleep" in bed by this point and so he didn't notice me. So I crawled into bed, fell asleep and this is what my vivid imagination gave me.
Wow this isn't just like a casual little "I think you're cute in a friend way" crush type things... It's more than that.
I really like Jack Finnegan Gilinsky. I like him so much I'm dreaming about him.
WTF is going on with me?
A/N yeah what's wrong with JJ lol. Anyways..... I'm emotionally drained rn. I dropped EVERYTHING in an attempt to save Madison but sometkmes... You just can't help people. Ya know? But that's why I'm gonna kinda start becoming an activist or whatever and I'm gonna try to get people to talk to me instead of commit suicide bc no one likes them or whatever there'll probably is. I just want anyone and everyone to know that I'm here for them if they need me no matter what but yeah. Anyways I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight babes. I love you all so much. 😘
5 votes & 2 comments for update!
-Shelby Lynn Gilinsky Ruppniff ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Tides *a Jolinsky fanfic*
Fanfictionthe Jacks are freshman in college and are roomies. They know everything there is to know about each other. Except for one thing: JJ is horribly bullied. He has been for a few years and has never said anything about it because he's afraid of how Gil...
