Droco's POV
I'm not sure why I did that. I just saw Granger approaching Harry and felt an anger rush through me so I decided to get away from them.
After finishing a few more classes, I was as hungry as a wolf. Normally I would go to the great hall to have lunch, but today I didn't want to see Harry so I headed near the kitchens. There was a stack of large barrels on the right side, tapped four times on the second barrel from the bottom,in the middle of the second row, with the rhythm of Helga hufflepuff , and the lid swang open as I expected.
To my surprise,the common room was empty. All the hufflepuffs were probably gathered in the great hall at the moment, having warm conversations while enjoying their lunch. I saw a large table near a colorfull painting. It was full of sweet trays. After binge eating sweets and feeling bloated, I sneaked out and headed towards my dorm.
No,don't get me wrong, I didn't steal food. The huffs let us have them whenever we go to their common room. So I didn't do anything wrong, except breaking the rule of going into another house.
But it's something usuall nowadays, after the war was over. The students are now trying to have good relationships with one another,and hating towards other houses isn't a thing anymore.
Being a pureblood is no longer a pride either, and the slytherin house welcomes anyone who's cunning and ambitious, including muggleborns. Before the war, the sorting hat would sort them into another house. But now things have gone different. Slytherin has changed. To be honest having Harry Potter resorted into our house was more surprising than finding out there are slytherin muggleborns.
(A/n I feel like I explained too much and it might be boring. I hope it's not)
I have changed too. I'm a bit happier,healthier, and most importantly, I'm not an asshole anymore. Mother always tells me to stop saying that about myself, but I really was an asshole. A weak one, actually. If I wasn't weak, Dumbledore and snape would have been alive now.
I still blame myself.
And sometimes, just sometimes, I think maybe it would have better if I was killed in the war. Or was sent to Azkaban, just like someone I used to call a father.
I'm glad my mother lied to voldemort. Cause if she hadn't, She probably would have been sent there too. And she wouldn't deserve it, she didn't do anything wrong with her own will. She was forced. Just like me. But she was brave and looked in the eyes of someone who could read minds, and lied to him.
I'm sure she wouldn't even stay in that house at first place if she wasn't sure that voldemort would find her,and kill us.
I just wish I could be like her. I wish I was a bit brave and stood up to Lucius. I wish I had ran away, slept in the streets, instead of letting them give me the dark mark.
I did so many mistakes. I can't even forgive myself. So how can i expect God to forgive me? I don't even know if there is any God. But If there is, I would definitely want him to punish me. Because no matter how hard I try to act like I'm happy, deep down I know that I don't deserve a second chance.
And i don't deserve to be truly happy.
I wanted to make this part longer but it turned a bit depressing and now I feel exhausted.
Also, to anyone reading this, I hope you're having a nice day.💜
