Lies Left Unsaid

Caitlyn

Emily was a "See You Next Tuesday." If you don't know that reference, then let me spell it out for you. A cunt, Emily was a cunt. I know that word is frowned upon, and I do not use it lightly, but there's simply no other way to truly sum her up.

When I first arrived at Highland Park High I was like a fish out of water. I came from a private school and I was totally out of my element. I remember that first day at school, as I sat alone in the quad, eating my lunch. Emily made her way over to me like a snake slithering stealthily through the grass, stalking its prey. She knew what she wanted and just how to get it. She asked if she could sit down and said I should be careful whom I befriend. "This isn't private school sweetheart," were the cunty words that left her lips as she gave me a look of disdain. Ironically, it was her heartless attitude, which reeled me in. Kindness can be an influential tool, but in high school, nothing is more powerful than hate. Teenagers don't seek out the approval of the nicest girl in school; they seek out the approval of people they think don't like them, people who seem better than them. That's how she acted when we first met. Her compassion to speak to the new girl allowed me to let my guard down, but her contempt made me needy for her friendship.

That day in the quad, Emily told me that those I associated with had the potential to make or break the next four years of my life. I thought she was being nice. I thought she was one of the people who would make me, but over time, she broke me down. She wouldn't let me have any other close friends, yet it didn't stop people from wanting to be close to me, to be me. Her effort to keep me at arms length from the other students made me an enigma, and instead of pushing people away, it drew them closer. They were intrigued by who I was. It wasn't long before I became much more popular than Emily, a fact that she must have foreseen on some level, which is why she sought me out in the first place. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," so goes the saying. To everyone else I appeared to be Emily's friend, but to Emily, I was the enemy. I had the potential to dethrone her social status, so she clung to me like a leech, sucking the life out of me in order to stay at the top of the popularity food chain.

By the time a few years of high school had past, I was in too deep. Our lives were intertwined. She was like an abusive boyfriend, and despite being beaten; I just kept coming back for more. In some ways it was easier to be with her than to be without her. I did try once to get her out of my life during my sophomore year by making out with the boy she liked. It was the only thing I could see making her angry enough to end the friendship. But she acted like she didn't know it happened. I'm sure she figured it was more important to retain the most popular girl in school as her bestie than to whine about some stupid boy she had a crush on getting a little tongue action from the infamous Caitlyn Coates.

I wondered what she would do now that I was gone. I'm sure she'd play the "poor me, I lost my best friend" card in order to gain sympathy and attention from the entire school. I wouldn't be surprised if she even did an interview on TV. Knowing her, she'd jump at the chance. She was probably secretly giving herself a pat on the back at this very moment for her keen intuition to befriend the new girl at school that fateful fall day in 2014. Now that I was gone, she was the queen bee, the star of the show. Everything had gone according to her plan.