How to kill Peter Parker

Chapter Two

Saturday
11:53 P.M

"Deadpool get away from her..." I groan after waking up, my memory of what happened just a few hours earlier slowly coming back. I got up onto my feet and looked around for Mary Jane, who was nowhere in sight. Shit.

"MJ! MJ where'd you go? Deadpool I swear to Christ I'm gonna-" 

"Oh hey Spidey!" I hear a female voice say behind me. I make sure my mask is still on my head (thankfully it is) and I whip around to see who was there. 

I study the figure in front of me. I see a girl wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. She has dirty blonde short hair and green eyes. Her freckles stand out the most: they're everywhere. 

"Who are you?" I ask. She smiles and waves off the question.

"Doesn't matter. Just another... citizen." She says, twitching her head like there was a high pitched noise in her ear. But I heard nothing.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yes I'm fine sir." She said.

Sir? Nobody's ever called me sir before. Heck, I sound like I'm fifteen so nobody really had a reason to. 

"Well, I must be going, bad guys to catch." I say awkwardly. She nods.

Before I shoot a web to a building next to the warehouse, she stops me. "Wait!" She says.

"What?" I ask her. She walks a couple feet closer. 

"I got something to show ya." She says. And before I can react, she grabs me, spins me around and shoves a sharp object into my neck. Instantly I feel a burning through my veins. I try to reach out in front of me but all I grasp is air. My vision gets blurry. 

I pass out. Again. 

Sunday
3:42 A.M

"Finally awake Spidey?" The girl asks. I try moving my right hand to block a blinding light shining in my eyes. But I'm restrained. 

"Where am I? Why the hell am I here?" I ask her.

"Damn you sure talk much." She says dodging my questions. I still can't see anything due to the light blaring at my eyes.

Suddenly, I hear a door burst open.

"Holy fuck holes! Does anybody know how to turn on the air conditioning?! I'm as hot and sticky as a horny grandma!"

Deadpool's here.

"Finally." The girl sasses. 

"Oh heyyyy Katrina. Still mad about the whole killing-your-boyfriend thing? Yeah... not sorry. Look on the bright side, he was a dick anyways!" Deadpool says. I still can't see what's going on, and I tug against my restraints violently. 

"Oh hey Spidey. Long time no see. I'm just gonna kill this hot babe right here then I'll be right with ya." He says, pulling out his two katanas. 

"You motherfucker. I'm gonna rip out your brains and feed them to your boyfriend!" She threatens. 

"Haha, I'd love to see that!" Deadpool says happily.

I hear them charge at each other, swords clanging. 

I keep tugging at my restraints, but no luck getting them lose. The leather is too thick around my wrists and ankles. I'm laying on a metal bed facing the ceiling. 

Finally, I hear two swords stab into the girl as she lets out a painful scream. Even if she kidnapped me, I can't help but wince at the sound of someone being killed. 

I hear her body drop to the ground, lifeless. 

"Alright sweetums lets get you outta here." Deadpool says while cutting my restraints with a combat knife. 

"Don't call me that." I say, sitting up and letting out a sigh.

"So what the hell was that earlier?" He asks angrily. 

"What the hell was what? You kidnapped an innocent person then got mad at me like you were doing the right thing!" 

"Okay listen up, sweetcheeks, I may have made a slight mistake. Lets just drop that whole situation, okay?" I rolled my eyes. Of course he made a mistake. 

"Is MJ okay, though?" I ask, just to make sure.

"She's fine Webs."

I sighed. "I need to get home. What time is it?" I asked.

"4 A.M." He replied. 

"4 A.M! I'm lucky it's the weekend!" I screeched, quickly getting off the metal bed. I started towards the door, trying not the look at the girl's body as I walked out.

"Uhhh, you might wanna watch where you're stepping!" Deadpool calls after me. I don't slow down. 

I reach the door and slam it open. Only to find I'm 30 feet off the ground. And falling.

"AH!" I screech, trying to turn my body to face upright so I can shoot a web. Finally, I'm falling feet first, in a position where I can shoot a web. I feel the web cling onto a surface, and I let out a breath as I become still, dangling. I hear a sound resembling sandpaper against a hard surface. Then I feel a crash against the building I'm hanging onto.

Until I come to my senses and realize I'm not on a building at all.

I'm on a boat.