Shooting Star // Eternalian Chronicles Book 1

35) .Questions.

(Edited)

.Questions.

~Catherine Wood~

Rory was dead, forgotten, and my Eternality went with him. I could still feel the echo of strength inside of me, the moment coming and going as it had previously, though this time it teased me more, making me wish for when I could hear the TARDIS, when I could drag Amelia from harm, when I could make sure that I was useful when the world was falling to pieces. Why was everything so hard? Why were the cracks everywhere we went through time and space? Why did the Doctor find a piece of the TARDIS inside the crack? Was that what was exploding? Why could I see two different realities in my mind, one with Rory, and one without? How was Amelia coping with all this sadness and sorrow? How was I coping?

I always thought everyone had a weakness. Right then I felt that questions were mine. The questions floated around my brain, making it rock back and forth inside my head, pounding uncontrollably, and making me wish it would just explode and leave me in piece. River told me these months would be hard. Never did I think my journey would be hard as this? When was it all going to end? Would things ever go back to normal? Would I ever be able to control my thoughts?

There I went again with the questions. I needed to do something to pull my mind away from the sadness and the questions.

I pushed myself up from my lying position on my bed and swung my legs over the side. I didn't bother not to wake the sleeping Amelia beside me. She had decided to sleep with me that night, because, no matter how she tried to deny it, she couldn't help but feel sad for a reason that she didn't know of. I, of course, agreed. I wanted to comfort my best friend in her time of need even though she didn't know she had a need. Still, I couldn't sleep, so I dragged a blanket with me down the hall, from my room, and to the control room where I settled in the captain's chair, completely upside down with my legs draped over the back of the seat and my head hanging off the edge. I didn't care if I looked ridiculous, but I was comfortable and the position helped me think.

Surprisingly, the Doctor was nowhere to be found. Usually, he was in the control room fixing things or just wandering around, humming to himself. However, he must have been off somewhere else. Perhaps he had a room? That would be more surprising.

"What are you doing?" A voice laughed, making me jump and fall from the chair. 

Never mind, maybe the Doctor really was there the entire time, watching me fit into the position. More laughs could be heard from him as he reached down to help me up from my sprawled out form on the floor.

"Don't do that!" I whispered harshly, punching him in the shoulder when I was steady. 

That just caused him to laugh some more. "You look like you could do with another late night chat and a cup of hot chocolate. What do you say?" 

I nodded and the Doctor led me to the kitchen by the hand, leaving my heart pounding in my chest to replace the pounding in my head. What was that man doing to me?

*~~~~~*~~~~~*

"So what is the problem this time?" The Doctor asked as he put a cup of hot chocolate in front of me and a cup of tea in front of him. 

I shrugged and laid my head on the table, ignoring my mug. "Just couldn't sleep. Rory's death took a toll on us, you know?" 

The Doctor nodded. 

"I can remember two different realities. One with Rory, and one without. I know it's my remaining Eternality that keeps what really happened and my human side, like Amelia, that's forgotten what it's like. It's all so confusing."