You Said That You Wanted Forever

Chapter 3

My plane landed around 9:30 this morning. I made my way through the airport and thought about what would happen next? Does she know of my arrival? Does she actually want me there? My stomach twisted inside of me when I thought of seeing her in this condition. I remember her long brown hair flowing down to the middle of her back. Her bubbly attitude could cheer anyone up. I used to tease her about the freckles on her face even though I secretly loved them. I wanted to see her like that. Not helpless and hurting.

I decided to take a taxi straight to the hospital instead of checking into a hotel. I would be staying fairly close to the hospital in case I was needed.

"Where to?" the cabby asked. I told him where I was going and we were off. I twirled my thumbs in anticipation. I wasn't sure how everything was going to go down but I was going to let it all play out. Does she actually want me here? Will our broken relationship be mended? It wasn't long before we reached the hospital. I opened my wallet and paid the cabby.

"Do you need help with your bags?" He asked hoping to get a tip from me.

"No, I'm good," I said before I exited the vehicle. I slung my bag over my shoulder and I made my way into the hospital.

"Can I help you?" a lady at the front desk asked.

“Uh, I’m looking for Tiegan Carter?” I say walking up to the desk.

“Oh! you’re the famous Ashton, aren’t you?” She sounded delighted. I smiled and nodded. “I will take you to her,” she said coming out from behind the desk. She led me to the elevator and she called it. When the doors opened we stepped in she pushed the 7th button. The doors shut and we stood in silence as the elevator took us to the seventh floor. “Tiegan is really excited to see you,” I looked at her and smiled lightly.

“Really?” I asked.

“Oh yes! You’re all she talks about, at first we didn’t think it was a good idea for you guys to get together again but we just couldn’t stand her being left with what if,” She explained as the elevator doors opened up and we exited into the hallway. The seventh floor of the hospital looked different than the other floors. The rooms were bigger, quiet music flooded the hallway. As we walked by the rooms I took notice at how they were all decorated. The walls were covered in posters and different pictures. We stopped at one of the last rooms in the corridor. I knew it was Tiegan’s room. The walls were covered in posters and pictures of New York. A record player sat dormant in the corner of the room. The room was dark, it didn’t seem bubbly like Tiegan did. The nurse was the first to enter. She turned the lights on and approached the lump of blankets in the bed. I wanted to look away, I didn’t want to see, Tiegan like this.

“Tiegan, guess who’s here to see you!” She placed her hand on her back. She slowly started to sit up and the nurse helped her. Her hair was gone and her lips were cracked. Her clothes clung to her body like autumn leave clung to their branches. Her eyes lacked life and the zest they use to hold. Her eyes locked with mine and the corners of her mouth start curl up into a smile. I slowly started to enter the room. The nurse took my bag off my shoulder and put in the corner of the room. I smiled and thanked her.

“Well, you two seem to have some catching up to do, i’ll leave you guys alone,” I almost wished she didn’t leave. There was so much tension in the room. I felt like she was slicing me apart with her eyes. I smile slightly and walk into the room. She motions to the chair that’s sitting next to her. I sheepishly walk to the chair and sit down.

“How you been?” She asks weakly. I shrug and shake my head.

“I’m sorry,” I say breaking down, the tears I fought to keep in escaped.

“Hey, don’t cry,” she put her hand on mine and I grabbed it and held it.

“I should have been a dick,” I said and I swallowed my tears.

“I over reacted, Ash, I should have been happy for you instead of keeping you from your dream,” she said squeezing my hand and letting it go to wipe a tear from her eye. She chuckled, “I didn’t think you were going to come.”

“I didn’t think you actually wanted me here,” I laughed, “I thought you hated me.”

“Well, I did, but once you’ve been in a hospital room dying of cancer for three years you kind of let things go,” she says bitterly. I sigh and sit back in my seat. “It’s obvious we didn’t end on a good note, but I don’t want to talk about that now.”

“Well, what do you want to talk about?” I ask. We end up reminiscing about old times. We talk about the guys and how we’ve blown up. She tells me about how she’s missed being with me and she misses all the things we used to do. She finally admits to me that she loved it when I called her flower. That was always my favorite pet name for her because she was always so delicate like a flower. But now she’s planted in this bed like a wilting flower that’s at the end of it’s life.

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on the side is Tiegan pre cancer