A Little Faith in California (O2L Fanfic)

Chapter #10- I'm Scared

Faith's POV

I jumped out of bed with a start, i had a terrible nightmare about something that i wish would just dissapear forever.

After Connor asked me about that certain event and that certain someone i had not wanted to remember, it kind of stuck inside of my mind and even though i really wanted to tell him, i didnt have yhe courage to..

See, Connor is the kind of guy that you can easily trust, because you know he's trustworthy and he does care and really listens.  But he's also the kind of guy that you want around all the time, and you just cant bear the thought of him leaving you, so you keep the worst parts of yourself hidden so you dont scare him away. Thats me now, im in the situation where im stuck between the truth and what i desire.

I know telling him the truth is the right thing to do, but i know when i begin talking about it it will just bring back the memories and that will hurt a lot since i've tried so hard to forget it...

"Faith, i'm going out to buy some pizza, do you want anything else?" Kian hollered from the other side of my bedroom door.

I stood by and opened it, facing him, "Can you just me the garlic breads? Those are my favorites!" I begged.

"I got you sis, we'll be back in a jiffy. If you need anything Andrea and JC are downstairs watching the TV and Wishbone." He replied as began to make his way down the spiral staircase.

"Oh, okay. Have you talked to Connor at all today?" I asked, biting my lower lip and hoping he wasn't home.

Im not trying to be a b**** but if he is home and everyone is out he'll ask me again about that thing and i still dont feel like talking about it.

 

Wishbone burst through my open door and jumped on my bed, he sat and wagged his tail continuously and i chuckled, "Wishbone what are you doing here huh boy? Did you run from Jc?" I laughed as he licked my face.

"He really likes you." I jumped, startled at the sound of Jc's voice by the door of my room. I faced him and smiled, "He's a great dog," i faced Wishbone, "Aren't you boy?" He shifted his head to the side and i smiled.

****

I dived into the pool, loving how the warm water felt on my body, soaking my head and getting the heat of the sun out of my mind for a while.

I heard another splash behind me and came out of the water, laughing the instant i did."Whatever happened to not wanting to get in today huh?" i teased.

JC rolled his eyes and splashed water at me with his hands, "Are you really teasing me Faith?" he warned, grabbing a water gun from the floor right outside the pool at arms reach.

I gasped, "You would never!" i gushed. He filled up the gun with water and aimed it straight at me, "Try. Me"

All hell broke lose! It was a splash war 'till the end.

**

"Do you miss your old home?" Jc asked, laying down next to me on the long chair. I glanced at him from under my sunglasses and then looked back at the sky, i said, "I really do, but at the same time this is all i had ever dreamed of.." i glanced at him to see his reaction towards what i just said.

He nodded his head, "You can always go back.." My head snapped over to look at him, my eyebrows coming together, forming creases on the top of my forehead.

"You want me to leave?" i asked, worry forming inside of me like bubbles bursting out of a drowning person, calling for help.

  He chuckled, throwing his head back slighlty and staying there,frozen, smiling, "If it were up to me, i'd have you stay with us forever." he stated calmly, i smiled at him feeling warm and welcomed.

 I was about to say something when i was interrupted by another voice, much too familiar, causing the little hairs behind my neck to stand up stiff and a shiver to run through my tired body. "Faith."

"Hey Connor." JC and I said in unison, looking at each other to laugh since it had been unexpected and we for some reason found it funny, we still have a child inside

"Can i talk to Connor privately Jc? Please, i'll stop by your room and we can watch movies later." i smiled, he stood up and said goodbye and headed inside, Wishbone following him with a quick pace.

 Connor took a seat besides me and faced me seriously, "I won't force you to tell me anything Faith, i just want you to know that you can trust me with anything. I'll always be here for you okay?"

i sighed, feeling my heart as it shattered to many millions of pieces inside of me. I knew Connor only meant well, i knew he wanted me to trust him but i couldn't even speak,i was frozen in time with memories of what had happened in the past.

Bruises and bumps and slashes and screaming and pain and hurt.

 I ook a sharp breath, "It's not that," i said, "I just, i'm scared you'll think differently of me when i tell you.."

Connor glanced up a me, his eyes softening on mine, "There's nothing you could do or say to change the way i think about you."

I could hear my heart beating rapidly inside of my chest as i looked all around, at the water shimmering in the pool under the fading sunlight, at  the field of bright green grasses beyond the shiny black gate, at the dark windows of those unlit rooms inside the house and those with a light on.

I glanced up at Connor, my eyes searching his for any signs of regret or lies because who knows, it's hard to find someone you can actually trust now a days.

I sighed, "Okay, i'll tell you everything."

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I'm so so sorry it's been so long!

I actually tried to publish this chapter two days ago but right before i published it my brother accidentally turned off the computer and i lost most of my progress so i had to redo it all over again :/

I've also been going through a lot so it's been hard to save up time and actually think of a good chapter.

Any ideas on what the story with her ex will be about? comment and if it's an interesting thing i may put it up into the chapter along with what i have planned.

Love you guys,

Elisa