Amazingly Awful

42

"Nick?" I called out while knocking on Nick's room door.

"Go away!" he complained, and for a moment, I actually considered walking away, but I had done enough of that.

I was tired of getting into petty arguments with Nick. I was tired of us misunderstanding and saying hurtful things to each other. I was tired of not agreeing. I was tired of it all.

Sick and fucking tired.

I opened the door to his room and stormed inside. I then locked the door behind me and walked over to him. He was sitting at the end of his bed with a bottle of wine in his hand.

"Do not start with me," he sighed before turning the bottle to his head. I snatched the bottle out his hand, and he sighed while laying down. "I'm not doing this tonight."

"Right, because you rather drink your problems away, right?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yes," he answered. "You're a pain in my ass."

"You don't think you're a nuisance too?" I frowned.

"Then leave," he shrugged. "Go be a family with your incest brother and your other fake ass brother. Take your family bullshit and go. This time, don't come back. Don't forget to take Nico with you either. Take him away so that he won't ever know what a monster of a father I am."

"I don't think you're a monster," I sighed.

"No, of course not. That just accidentally escaped your mouth, right?" he asked sarcastically.

"Actually, yes," I nodded.

He shook his head while exhaling a long breath. "Do I scare you, Sage?"

"No," I shook my head as he stood up.

He smiled, "I killed Jasmine in front of you, and I enjoyed it. I tortured Titan for fun. Punishing Mike was an even greater pleasure. Let's not even mention the power I felt when my men and I pierced Gorilla's body with shots. This is what I do! This is who I am, Sage, and frankly, I don't mind. Do you know how much people I've killed?"

"Cut it out," I crossed my arms as he walked closer to me.

He added, "The day Gorilla's gang attacked me was one of the most momentous days of my life. If only you could feel the rush-the adrenaline- that flowed through my bones as I took down men after men. I even got creative with the killings, finding ways to kill three men at once. You should've seen me. You should've seen the monster they call Carter. I only feel like me when I'm accepting of who I am. I won't let you try to brainwash me into believing anything less. You knew what I was like when you kissed me, when you told me that you wanted to be with me, and when you slipped that condom on me and then slid me inside you. You knew, Sage. You knew, yet here you are trying to change me and tell me that I am a monster. Hell yeah, I'm a monster. I'm the best monster I know. How about you try changing for once, huh?"

I hadn't even noticed that I had been backed into the wall.

"Move!" I demanded.

He chuckled while shaking his head, but his breath surprisingly didn't smell like alcohol. He wasn't drunk and saying a bunch of meaningless things, and that actually did leave me worried.

"Loving you was the biggest mistake of my life," he stated while staring coldly in my eyes. "I always told myself that I'd never give my love to someone who didn't deserve it, and I failed myself. I willingly accepted you as you were, yet you couldn't do that for me. I gave you anything you asked for. You think half of the guys in this world would comply to some of the things you asked me to comply to? Huh?!" I remained quiet, but that only encouraged him to continue. "I chose my relationship with you over getting my Father's ring-an object that still means the world to me- and I did so even though I hadn't even thought I'd get the ring back. My father is dead, Sage, yet you had put me in that situation. When you got out the coma, you promised to give me a chance, yet a whole week passed of no contact until  I showed up at your front door. Okay, cool. Then you put me in the situation of choosing between you and the men that took me in when I was weak and alone. They fed me and made sure I was protected. They trained me, and when I became stronger and more skilled, they smiled and welcomed that side of me. They felt like proud parents. The old-heads died, but they died proud of what they helped me to become. They all supported me being their leader, and I vowed to keep that legacy of training the future warriors, and I have kept that vow. The men in the Mafia are my brothers. They have always been loyal and honest. I killed one of my brothers for you. Do you think I fucking enjoyed that? And then you told me that you hated me during those sessions we used to attend and that I should've pulled the trigger at my head. But I'm the monster? And still, I chased after you. Then you fucking run away and hide my son from me. You've disrespected me for way too long, Sage. I keep making all these sacrifices for you, while you just shrug them off. You got way too comfortable, but I guess that's my fault. You don't even say, hey love. How are you today? How's the business going? How's the Mafia? You don't even notice the days when I'm ten times more stressed than I usually am. You never stop to ask how has this entire rollercoaster affected me. You're selfish and ungrateful, and that's word to everything. Everything is about Sage. Sage. Sage. Sage. Well, you should go and love your fucking self, 'cause I'm done. We're done. I don't want to be friends with benefits either. I don't even want to see you when I wake up. I'll even pay for your ticket. I don't want you here anymore, Sage. You've done enough damage. Just pack your shit and get out."

"And what about our son?" I asked.

Nick answered, "I just asked a judge if she could sign Nico over to me. It's already been done." Nick took his phone out his back packet and showed me the pictures. "I now have legal custody. Nickolai stays. You go."