o̲̅n̲̅e̲̅ s̲̅h̲̅o̲̅t̲̅'s̲̅

...Lost...

"You like me don't you?" He asked her as he entered into the watchtower behind Nick.

"Who said that? Huh?" She asked with a smirk playing on her face.

"Everybody says that, hell, even I can see it." He playfully held her hand.

"We are supposed to watch for the enemies... Not have romance, Shiv." She jerked off his hand and he sighed.

"Why don't you accept that before we die? Huh? What's the harm?" He intently looked at her and she shrugged.

"There's nothing to accept. Now go on and handle your side. I bet you don't want to risk everyone's life, right now." She playfully pushed him and he sighing walker to the other watchtower to look out for the enemies, who're going to attack them anytime.

Nick smiling picked her rifle and adjusted it on her shoulder and iron grill looking out into the scope and trying to see anything which was harmful to any of them- which could kill them. Her mind wasn't concentrating as Shiv's words were ringing in her mind. She wasn't sure now if she was right or not.

She did like him, hell she loved him. But she knew confessing right now won't be good for any of them. They needed to concentrate on the things which were happening around them. They needed to protect everyone, not just one another. She sighed as she shrugged the thoughts off of her mind and blinked her eyes and watched out to see few walkers- dead who recurred and occupied the whole world roaming around their safe place. But, dead wasn't really a problem right now, living was. Who were after the place they had or at least what they assumed it to be.

Nick kept running her gaze around to see if anything else was there but nothing. She took a sigh of relief and put down the Rifle and turned around to see Shiv standing behind her, so close, her breaths got stuck in her throat and she couldn't move away.

"I love you." His hot breath fanned on her face and made her feel vulnerable. She feared it and it was happening. She cursed him under her breath for pushing her in this state. She couldn't turn him down or else she'd lose him. She knew she either accept it or denies and lose him forever.

She raised her eyes and looked directly into his eyes- getting ready to tell him that she loves him back, more than she ever loved anyone, more than he loved her.

Her hands gently moved around his neck to hold onto him. He patiently waited for her to confess it too. She swiftly turned him around and leaned onto him a little. His back touched the grill and he chuckled.

"Who's romancing now? I said..." Before he could continue- Place echoed with a loud thud and her eyes went wide as the blood splattered on her face and his limp body fell onto her. She slipped backward and laid back as his body laid onto her making her choke on her own tears as she slowly processed all the happenings.

Everything seemed to play in slow-motion. She was so ready to tell him about the love she had for him and he was enjoying the process- He got shot in the head and everything finished right there and right then.

She cried loudly as she the reality sunk into her mind- She lost him and she was the reason he died.

He was so strong. So brave, so caring and what not. She learned things from him- She was supposed to be on the watch so was he- She didn't ask him to go back and instead lead him into his death.

Her body shivered to see him lying in the pool of his own blood and she herself was covered in his blood. The smell of his blood made her mind go insane. Her hands frantically moved and grabbed the rifle she was holding a while before.

The bullets which were raining around their safe place didn't bother her anymore, she went dumb to any sound which was around her.

She just loaded and shot, not caring whom the bullet hit or where. She made sure every standing person outside their safe house was laying. She didn't bother to stop and take a breath. She was rage to an extent where she knew, she would be dead soon and made sure she killed the bastard who killed shiv.

Nobody who was firing at them was alive anymore. She killed every last one of them and in the process, she got shot too but the wound wasn't going to kill her but Shiv's dead body was killing her.

He wasn't going to turn, she sighed over it. As the raining of the bullets came to a stop she dropped the rifle and slid down beside him sitting in his blood.

Her eyes wandered over the limp body of his and her hands caressed his face which was grey by now as all the blood of his body drained out of his body through the wound of his head.

She choked down trying to hold back her sobs- She wasn't able to digest the fact that he was dead and wasn't going to be around her anymore. The mere thought scared her that she didn't want to even live the life, without him.

"Idiot- You did this. Who asked you to come here and die. Who gave you the right to come and then leave- without my permission. You fucking messed me up, how do you think I'm going to live now? Why? Why did you have to come here? It's all on me now. I can't live with this burden, also, not without you." She cried placing down her head on his chest.

"I am so sorry- It was supposed to be me and not you. It was supposed to be me... just me. I was the one who was supposed to be here!!! Not you." She cried and pulled out her handgun from its holster and pointed it on her head.

"It was supposed to be just me. Just fucking me." She said before pulling the trigger but someone kicked her hand and she missed the fire.

"Anna. How dare you?" She shouted. "It's my life my choice" She sobbed.

"Shiv never wanted you to give up. He would never be happy about this. You want him to suffer?" That was it. She dropped the gun and wiped her tears but her heart was crying. She wasn't ever going to be fine and over this- She was going to die slowly and she thought She deserved...

Soon, the whole group gathered around her and helped her carry his body down to the hole they dug to bury him. She declined to take anyone's help and poured water on his body to clean off the blood and then covered him with a white sheet.

She sobbed over his body again as the people tried to take away his body so that they could bury him before the darkness covered them and then they wouldn't be able to do that.

She nodded, understating.

They all said their praying and left the place- taking her away too. They couldn't afford to lose any more of them, not her right now.

She didn't walk to her place instead- she walked to his room and laid on his sleeping bag and cuddled with his shirt and cried again. This wasn't easy- This was all that she had to do...

She cried herself to sleep, wishing she never wakes up again...

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Thank You...