To Think A Thought

8: The "Mother Friend"

I've been prolonging ranting about this because it is a personal problem and, for some reason, feels more like a complaint than a rant or lesson. But I've gotten fed up with it.

I'm constantly called the "mother friend." The one who stops others from having "fun" - which really means having a food fight and trying to involve vegetable oil. What is so bad about me putting a stop to that?! I've been watching your fight; I haven't complained or gotten mad about wiping up the water, ketchup, and mustard that you guys have gotten all over the hardwood floor in several rooms because you weren't bothering cleaning it yourself. So when I put a stop to oil being brought out, I'm a killjoy? A no-fun person? A - as you bitterly put it - "mother friend?"

No. I'm just a teenaged girl who does not want to clean up a mess of oil that you guys so obviously won't clean yourselves because you're too caught up in making messes. Do you know how hard that would be? And when I'm already a little annoyed and exhausted from using towel upon towel to clean up the other messes? So don't use the "mother friend" against me! I've heard it. Numerous times. Not just from you guys.

When I only think of those two words without delving into it, I realize they think I'm boring. Too obedient. Too by-the-book. Too perfect. And it hurts. It really does. Especially when I also see that hidden message of "it's no wonder you don't have friends" inbetween the lines. Especially when I realize they're right. I don't. I lost one childhood best friend to popularity; the other to long distance and lack of communication.

I don't want to bring self-pity on myself. I just want us to delve deeper into the "mother friend" a bit.

First off, don't you guys realize it is kind of hurtful to mothers? You're insulting me by saying I'm a mother friend. Mother friend. What? Is your mother boring? Too by-the-book? Do you think mothers around the world deserve having their well-earned title used as an insult? Don't you think that's wrong? Just a bit? Well, I certainly do! My mother has been raising twelve children for twenty years now. The title of "mother" is allowed to rest on her head like a valuable crown! But you go and throw it in her face by turning its beautiful meaning into something insulting and hurtful!

Mother friend. I don't like the phrase. Mothers don't deserve to have their name used like that. End of story.

And also, as I delve deeper into the phrase, let me ask: What's wrong with having maternal instincts anyway? Being mother-like? Feeling the need to stop another mess? To protect you from doing something stupid? What's wrong with putting an end to a plan starting to get out-of-hand?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

And, another rant, it is not my fault for having those feelings in the first place! I'm the second oldest of twelve. Lots of the time I feel as if I'm the oldest. I've helped take care of my younger siblings pretty much my entire childhood life. My older brother isn't really someone I can look up to to protect and act older than me. I actually take care of him lots of the time too! Heck, I'm still helping take care of him and my six youngest siblings who are aged between three and ten years of age! I'm still trying to protect the sisters closer to my age from boys, drama, and their internal emotions that differ from one another! And I'm already on the brink of adulthood! I'm about to graduate high school! So SOOOOOOORRY if I happen to feel those maternal instincts that make me stop you from being a ridiculous child! Those instincts that stop you from doing something stupid like making messes or prank calling numbers you shouldn't!

I haven't had anybody to look up to except my parents. I'm the oldest even in the church youth group and in any "friend" group I like to believe I'm apart of. I happen to have maternal instincts permanently built inside of me. I happen to have the instincts of looking out for my own self. It's weird to have somebody other than my parents try to protect or comfort me. Weird to think that anybody else could. Because I protect and comfort my own self. I'm my own team. My own moral support. My own protector. And at the moment that you all are going to make a disastrous mess that would take hours to clean, I feel the need to be the mother (because the real one isn't currently present) and put a stop to it! Both for your sake and mine! I don't want you getting in trouble, as well as I'm protecting you all and myself from anger!

So, back to you calling me a "mother friend" - fine. Go ahead. Insult mothers as well as hurt my feelings.

I know I should take pride in being called the "mother friend," but I've been called the "second mother," a "mother-figure," and the "sibling mom" way too many times growing up to be able to correctly handle "mother friend." Especially when several people have called me it so many times just in this past year. Just because I stop them from doing something and they don't like it.

I'm the mother friend. I get it. Now shut it and be the annoying child this mother must discipline and scold.

That's all I have to say. Thanks for listening to my rant/complaint.

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YOUR CHALLENGE: Unless you really know they don't mind, don't call your friend the mother/father friend! They're only trying to look out for you. They're still fun. Trust me!