extra cliche sh*t and stuff

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I ran until I ran out of breath. I finally arrived at my house. I nervously opened the door and my evil stepmother was standing there with a big potato sack in her hands and a creepy grin on her face. 

"Um, mother? Why do you have a potato sack?"

"Oh darling, I kind of ran out of money to buy vodka, tequila and drugs! Vodka and tequila was always so expensive, and my drug dealer increased the price of his drugs again!"

I stood there, really confused. "That still doesn't explain the potato sack??"

"Oh yeah, I'm selling you to a gang for enough money to buy drugs for a few weeks! The gang is called One direction, by the way."

"One direction?!" I exclaimed excitedly. I was meeting the band One direction? Oh my god, I was about to meet Harry, Liam...

"Not the band One direction you idiot. Why would they want you? This is just some random gang that plagiarized their name!" my stepmother snapped.

What? So I'm not meeting the One direction band? Oh well, that was expected anyway. 

"Come on Bob, get in the potato sack!"

"My name isn't Bob, it's Abigail, and I'm a girl. Are you seriously drunk again?"

"That doesn't matter now, does it Freddy? Get into the sack!"

"It's ABIGAIL and I doubt you actually sold me to One direction."

My stepmother scowled and stumbled into her room. I heard her fat ass trip over and a vase broke. I cringed. 

"MOTHERF**KING!#$%^&*@(*@^(&(@^&*@^&*!^&*!^&*@^&*!^@&*^!&*@^&*!^@&*!^@&*^!&*@^*()!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed. 

She stumbled out of her room with her laptop, her face red. I gasped in horror as she showed me the screen on her laptop. She actually auctioned me on Ebay?

My stepmother charged towards me with the potato sack. Then our front door opened. It was Cole the vampire boy! He punched my stepmother and she passed out. Why is Cole always there to rescue me? He walked towards me and his hand touched mine. OMG HIS HAND TOUCHED MINE! THAT MEANS I BEAR ALL HIS BABIES NOW AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE ADORABLE HALF VAMPIRE CHILDREN OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED!

"Abigail, are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine."

"I wanted to tell you something. I love you will you marry me?"

"I'm only 17, and I've only known you for a day. BUT YES OF COURSE-"

"What the hell is this? This is ridiculous!"

Ugh. It was Vanessa. 

"Why are you here? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS OUT TO STEAL MY MAN!"

"Actually I'm a lesbian. And also I only like to hang around him is because we're best friends." she said rolling her eyes. 

"Oh. Well still! WHY ARE YOU HERE YOU RUINED ME AND MY MANS MOMENT-"

"I agree with Vanessa. You and Cole are only 17, and it is against the law of the states to marry at such a young age. And you have only known each other for a short period of time, and if you marry now it's going to lead to future problems and will probably end in a divorce. And vampires are not scientifically proven to be real, there is no being on the planet that is immortal and sucks the blood of homo sapiens." said Xing. (For some reason she showed up as well idk why).

"Yuh." said Jck, agreeing with Xing (He's here as well?).

"YOU KNOW WHAT?! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU PEOPLE! I WAS UGLY (Even though I have perfect blonde waves, clear blue eyes, flawless skin, a slim waist and a perfect hourglass figure I'm still considered ugly okay #notstereotypical) AND ABUSED ALL MY LIFE AND NOW YOUR RUINING IT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I confidently walked up to Xing and grabbed her glasses and smashed them. She's blind as f*ck without them so she started screaming and running around (haha how smart) and bumped into a tree. She got concussed and died. Then I went up to Vanessa and slapped her face. Her eyeballs fell out and somehow that caused her to die as well. And Jck just died because he ain't relevant anymore. lol. 

"Even though I've only known you for a day and spoken to you a few times, I love you and yes I will marry you." I said dramatically. 

Then Cole, the hottest, most popular fuckboy in the school kissed me and our tongues fought in dominance and did the macarena

"ur so seggsy" I moan 

Then he put his long 69.420 inch veiny thr0bbing member into my dripping wet folds/heat. Then I married him and we lived together. And my stepmother died because you know, karma and all that stuff. Then I had half human half vampire children. And yeah that's it. 

THE END

DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST ONE DIRECTION THIS WAS JUST MEANT TO BE FUNNY. AND ALSO I'M NOT TARGETING ANYONE'S STORY IN PARTICULAR OR SAYING ANYONE'S STORY IS BAD THIS IS JUST A FUN PARODY. ALSO I DID NOT INTEND TO DISCRIMINATE ANYONE OR ANY PARTICULAR PEOPLE AS I SAID THIS WAS JUST A JOKE/PARODY PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY. 

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Yeah that's it LMAO.


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