Insight to Veronica Neilson.
This is not the life I thought I would have when I was seven years old, I thought that when I was finally eighteen and a 'big kid' as I used to like to say, I would be on top of the world! Not sitting on the floor starin...
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ONE
My life is one big catastrophe. You see, girls like myself do not get the happy endings that we so desperately crave, it's just not how our world works. We dream of the perfect life, the doting husband, brag-worthy children, the pure undeniable happiness of having your life filled with success and love.
I am unfortunately not just any 'girl'. I am 'that girl'. The pretty girl, bitchy girl, shallow girl, stupid girl and the slutty girl. Pretty girls like me are probably the most damaged kind of person you will ever meet, and we all fucking know that damaged people do not get happy endings.
We just get more and more fucked up as time passes by.
Before you know it, our faces start to age. Our beauty begins to fade and the pretty little illusion we had once spun for the people that surrounded us disappears, all that is left are a pair of chicken like legs with saggy tits along with our notorious shitty personality. Not the best combination really, it's why 'pretty girls' like I, tend to be nothing but bed warmers, home wreckers, side pieces and baby mamas.
This world is a complete fuck up and so am I, and we are the perfect goddamn match.
It is probably why 'Sluts like Me' are deemed useless in this life and why people have deemed us not worthy of living the perfect life, because of how 'imperfect' we are to them all.
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It's seven o'clock in the morning, the birds are starting to sing, the sun is rising and the people are beginning to wake. I am already awake though and am already struggling with myself. I stand in the small bathroom that holds no windows. The light on the roof is casting dark shadows across my body, causing the imperfections on my skin to catch light as I stare at myself in the over sized mirror.
I touch my face, the pale finger tips lightly tracing the outline of my full pink lips. I let my fingers move up, slowly to the corner of my right eye, taking in the blue colour before letting my fingers slide over to finally finish up on the tip of my small, button like nose.
I fucking hate myself.
What did you expect me to say? You're probably thinking that I am over exaggerating. That I seem like I would actually be a pleasant sight for most to look at? Well that is actually the problem that I have with myself. My looks, my pride and my own insecurities are what have driven me to this point in my life.
I no longer see the little girl with bright eyes, bright smiles and innocent thoughts. In her place is this thing. I honestly don't even know what I am anymore. I don't know if I can really be considered human when I honestly feel as though I have no humanity left to give, I feel like a hollow being who wouldn't even bat an eyelid if someone in front of her was in pain and begging for help.
