Goodbye, Evan

16

For the first time in my short-ass life and long-ass death, I wake up with somebody in my arms. 

This time, it feels safe. This is something new, something I have with only him, something with no repressed memories attached because it's like nothing I've ever experienced before. It's safe, and it's good, and it's happy. 

 We're spooning - guess that happened sometime in the night. My left arm ended up draped around his middle, my fingertips just touching the skin of his stomach, I assume because his shirt rode up in the night. My right hand is resting against the back of his neck, my fingers just touching his coarse curls. And our legs are intertwined, my right stuck between the both of his. We're a tangle of limbs.

 I have to shuffle away after a moment because of a lovely little thing called morning wood, but I let my arm stay draped across his side and my hand touching his neck as I create distance between the bottom half of our bodies. There isn't any reason to spoil this, is there? If he wakes up, I can tell him truthfully that it's not my fault - it did just happen in the night.

 I move the hand touching his neck just a little, letting my fingers run through the downy hair that grows at the nape. That's when Theo moves. He doesn't tell me I'm weird, or to get off him - hell, I don't even think he wakes up. He just turns over, eyes still closed, and slots his head right underneath my chin. He's definitely still asleep.

 Now, he's lying on my arm and my left hand is resting on his bare spine. His knees are jutting into my stomach, which hurts a little but not enough to be uncomfortable. His hands are tucked into his chest, but one of his fingers is touching my shirt, just above my ribs. I'm wrapped around him. 

 I'm glad I no longer have a heartbeat. It would be pretty fucking fast. 

 I drift in and out of sleep for a few hours, this boy who's over a head taller than me curled up in my arms. I've never felt more peaceful in my life. 

 I wake up suddenly, properly, when Theo also wakes up for real, stretches automatically and hits me in the chin and knees simultaneously. I yelp and he jumps at the noise, scrambling away from me and nearly falling out of the bed. He frowns at me and I expect him to get out of bed or ask me to leave, but he just stretches again and stays put, staring at me with features wrapped in the room's shadow.

 "Sorry," he mumbles after a moment, his voice husky. 

 "It's okay," I reply an octave too high. I remove my arm slowly from underneath his body in case I do something stupid. As always, I'm cold without his skin on mine. 

Theo frowns sleepily again, looking adorable with his head being the only thing poking out of the covers. His hand comes free, accidentally hitting mine on the way up, (both of my arms are now lying between us again) and he massages the bridge of his nose. "I tried to beat up Jack Vine." 

 "Uh huh." 

 "You broke Jack's nose." 

 "Yeah." 

 "I'm suspended." 

 "'Fraid so."

 Theo sighs. "Thanks again. And sorry for making you sleep with me - in my bed, I mean. I'm a pussy." "You're not." I scowl into the semi-darkness. "Don't you dare say that. I'm glad I could be here... here for you." 

 Theo looks down at me, the beanpole, and shuffles a little closer. My heart leaps into my mouth. 

  "Did you mean what you said yesterday?" he says, almost inaudibly even though we're most likely alone in the house and definitely alone in the room. "That you'd come and visit my mum with me next Sunday?"