I was never really wanted, at just a couple months old I was adopted. I didn't find out until I was five and when I did find out I didn't take it well. I locked myself in my room and didn't come out, my 'parents' had to break the door I was never the same.
I think what got to me was the fact that my mom left me, the fact that she didn't give me a chance. I feel disgusted of myself I feel like I wasn't meant to be here, by ten I fell into depression I started cutting. They sent me to a hospital were I was put in a room with a roommate.
She tried to strangle me I had never been so scared in my entire life, at that point I gave up when I was let out I tried to kill myself. Then I went to therapy, it didn't really help I felt like I had to hide because if I didn't they would send me back I didn't want to go back to that awful place.
I just wanted to see my mom just once and ask her why she left me, that's the only question I wondered and still do. This feeling of being worthless, rejected, abandoned and all by the one person that was supposed to love you and be there for you say 'good job' whenever you got an A on a test pained me. Slowly everyone in my life disappeared or betrayed me, I had a best friend for three years until one day she left me for the new girl, she told everyone everything. I was made fun of, bullied, and teased I never really trusted anyone like I trusted her, she was like a sister to me and I never knew why she left same as my mom.
Believe me when I say that I tried to be a good daughter but no matter how hard I tried it was never good enough. My aunt was my one best friend I could tell her anything and she would listen, but my mom cut her out of my life over an argument I don't see how that's fair it wasn't my fault, I didn't start that argument. We talked less and less until we didn't and just when I finally got her back she had to move away, I couldn't ask her to give up a good opportunity for me so I told her it was fine. That's all seemed to say then "I'm fine" over and over but nobody cared to ask if I really was or if I needed help who would care anyway?
I'm just a stupid girl with hopes and dreams that just aren't reality.
I have a boyfriend now who understands me and is going through the same thing finally someone I can relate to, someone I can talk to and just be myself I don't have to hide anymore because I know that he has my back.
Thank you so much for reading it was really hard for me to write about my life when I don't know how you will react please show support I'm not sure what to write in the main story please give ideas
