The Sun, The Moon, and Their Stars

09 : Shuffle

Benjamin

Jay is already waiting for me at the entrance of the local state college, where we're assigned to take the exam for NSU. His naturally tired eyes look extra tired this early Saturday morning as he greets me with a yawn.

We make our way through the campus, where students from all over the province are stationed to take the well sought-after college entrance test. We follow arrows with the 'this way' signs and end up outside a lecture hall-type of room, where some people are already forming a line.

Jay checks the room number if it matches ours. Incidentally, and thankfully, we're assigned to the same one, so we can sit side by side.

Two girls from some other school are chatting in front of us, and Jay looks at me with worry after we hear one of them confidently say to the other that she's been studying for this test since last summer. The other one replies that you don't really need to study for this type of test, you just need stock knowledge. And I give my friend a shrug 'cause that girl has a point.

A middle-aged woman of short stature, greying curly hair, and thick round glasses ushers the students inside the room, counting the heads to make sure we occupy all the seats. Jay and I are in the third row from the front.

I turn around to see the whole room of strangers. I also hear their quiet hums and buzzes with last-minute chatters, heavy sighs, and prayers.

I see Kim three rows above us. Her hands are clasped together on top of the desk. Her hair is pushed neatly back, and her bangs clipped. Her face looks ready and in game-on mode. She sees me, so I smile and wave at her. Her lips form a line, and she waves back. Then the proctor shuts everyone up and starts giving instructions.

***

I'm sitting on the couch of Jay's living room, absentmindedly shuffling a deck of cards someone left on the table.

We tried our best to avoid other people who took the test on our ride back here, but we're unlucky. Right or left of us, people asked other people what they answered on specific questions. The reactions after were of regret and disappointment. And as if we absorbed their frustrations and grievance by osmosis, we slump back here silently taking in and perhaps accepting the probable fact that we may not pass that test.

I notice the cards that I'm shuffling for no reason for the first time since I took them a few minutes ago. They're not the same ones we used to play with, here in this very room, when the four of us still played with cards. I wonder what happened to the old ones.

A little more than a year ago, my friends and I played all sorts of games we knew how on those cards. Mostly it's poker, but we had to teach Steve gin rummy, so there's that for a few times. I usually win, and they initially thought that I was some sort of a luck magnet, or that I've mastered the games. It took Steve six months to figure out that my so-called ability with numbers relates to playing cards since we're dealing with probability.

We no longer dealt with the cards to play games, but on occasion, it's to learn and teach each other techniques or for the sake of fun. Needless to say, when they play with other guys, they win their games eighty percent of the time. So, they're not that mad at me for being this kind of weirdo. Besides, we always find other ways to bond as a group.

Jay has his hands at the back of his head, staring at nothing in particular on their ceiling. Knowing him, he's most likely thinking about how he messed up the Math part of the test, and possibly the Science part too since it also involved some numbers.

I, on the other hand, am also thinking of a part where I can say I'm not confident. I don't mean to brag, but I'm sure I did well on the numbers part, but I didn't on the comprehension test. I'm a slow reader, the selections were long, and the time was running fast. When the proctor said there were only two minutes left on the clock, I still had some twenty questions unanswered. I just used the remaining time randomly shading bubbles, internally hoping that I chose the correct answer. I'm certain, though, that Jay aced that part.