The Sun, The Moon, and Their Stars

22 : Blue

Kimberly

His hair smells like menthol. He smells light, fresh, and nice. Thank goodness, it's not like the strong Axe body spray my brother uses.

My hands are no longer shaky when I place them on his shoulders this time. I think I'm getting used to this. But I also know that's just wishful thinking.

Benjamin makes a left turn when I'm sure we came from the other way. "Just hang on and trust me," he says.

We keep going for ten or so minutes. The scene around is pretty much the same as when we came here. But there are more houses, and more people are going around and about on the sidewalks. And I can smell dried fish. 

He turns left, to a narrower dirt road, and follows the tracks left by cars. Then we stop in a parking lot. There's a grey family van on our right and an owner-type jeep next to it. He parks just below the sign of the name of the place.

"You did not," I say after I read it.

He removes his helmet and smiles at me. "I just did," he says.

He starts walking, so I follow. We just pass the small arch saying, welcome to Sunny Side Beach Resort, in outdated calligraphy.

He tells me to wait while he goes to a small house-like booth and talks to the lady behind the counter, whom I assume is the operator of this place.

I can see the shore and the sea from the gaps between the coconut trees. Then I see him walking toward the beach, waving his hand, and I hear him calling me.

We continue walking through a line of cottages made of bamboo and nipa on their roofs. One of them from our far right is occupied by what looks like a family enjoying a weekend off. And another from the far left has things on the table. There's a group of twenty-somethings sitting on the sand, so I suppose they own the unattended things. Farther than that, fisher folks are getting their boats ready to sail for the afternoon, or maybe they just arrived from the open sea.

Benjamin stops and turns to me, with his arms open to his sides. "Well, KP," he says with that smile, "you can scratch this off your list of dreams."

I adjust the hem of my pants. We take off our flip-flops and head for the edge of the shore.

The sand feels soft and warm, yet its warmth is comforting. The water touches my feet, and I feel its cooling effect, sending chills of joy all over me. I feel the waves and hear their sounds. The birds are singing somewhere around us, and the wind is also whistling.

"This is nice," I tell him. "Thanks."

He just grins at me.

My eyes are on the sea before us, the same one we saw from that cliff we're at a while ago. And this is still the same town that I've always wanted to escape from. Had I known this exists and how beautiful it is, maybe I wouldn't feel like I'm betraying the place that took me as its own.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

My face must be obvious that I'm having these thoughts. There's the sad part of me doing that again.

I shake my head. "Nothing," I whisper.

But he doesn't look like he's buying it. He looks like he's guilty that I have a sad part that's eclipsing the happy part of me right now. I didn't know before that he can be this capable of mirroring one's emotions, let alone mine.

"It's just that..." I sigh. "All these years, all I wanted was to get out of this place, to chase after my dreams, to be the one who gets to leave. And I just now realize how much I don't really know this town. And I... I kind of feel bad."