Loving Saturday | GDL

115. Waiting For Him

I kept myself busy. I knew that he wanted to talk to me about it—about everything that he's been seeing... and I chose to ignore him. I chose to prolong the agony that we both were feeling, but then when it was already time to close the art exhibit, I had no other choice but to face him and explain everything to him.

I got a huge amount of money because of my paintings. Some paints were in an auction because there were a lot of buyers. "I actually didn't expect that people would visit and buy my works," I started. We were both just sitting at the couch. We were both tired. Who knew that this was so tiring? "By the way, thank you. You stayed even if you weren't obligated to," I sincerely told him.

"Most of your paintings were me."

I stopped. I closed my eyes to relax myself even just a bit.

"Why?" he asked.

"Hearts," I said—my eyes still closed. "He is art."

"All those years, all you ever did was paint me?"

Kahit na nakapikit na ako, naramdaman ko pa rin ang pagpatak ng luha ko. "I didn't want to forget about you..." I said. He didn't answer. Silence occupied us for a few seconds. "I was slowly forgetting you, Juan... I was always locked up in a room... with no one to talk to. I had no phone. No gadgets. No pictures of you. All I had was a canvas and a paint brush."

"I was slowly forgetting about you. Your face... the way you smile, how moreno and sometimes white your skin was, how prominent your jaw was, how curly your hair was, how I have always loved your smile... that freaking smile that gets me all the time."

"I was slowly forgetting your scent, the way you would always make me feel. How it felt whenever you're holding my hand... how it felt whenever you kiss my forehead... how it felt when you say those three special words to me." 

"I was slowly forgetting how you made me feel special. I was slowly forgetting about us... and don't ever think that in our two years of being apart that I forgot about you... because I hated it. I hated how I was slowly forgetting about you. I forgot how my heart beats whenever you're around me. How my cheeks flushed whenever you tell me cheesy things."

"I didn't... I never forgot about you. I tried so hard remembering you. Every inch of your face.... even when you weren't beside me, I still felt that you've always been there. Painting you became a way to fight my depression... because you are my hope. You became hope. You are the only thing left that screams home."

"Sabado..."

I finally opened my eyes and looked at him. "So, thank you... for being in this battle with me."

He smiled. "Thank you."

I smiled back. "Para saan naman?"

"For always remembering me."

"Of course," I said. "I would never forget my highschool crush... not even after a million years."

* * *

"Yow, Sab!" salubong ni Joe sa akin at niyapos niya ako. I smiled back at him. He wasn't able to visit here the other day because of some important matters he had to deal with. "This place is... cool," he said as we were both walking around the place.

"How have you been?" I asked him. I've been close to Juan's family in our six months of being in a relationship. The Gomez de Liaño family was really kind and nice... no wonder why Juan is such an ideal guy. Even his brothers. Their parents raised them well.

"I'm good," he said. He looked at me with a genuine smile on his face. "Juan looked better in your paintings," he laughed.

Napa-iling na lang ako sa kanya. "You already have a  girlfriend?" I curiously asked him. Wala pa kasing ikinakasal sa kanilang magkakapatid... sabagay, bata pa naman sila masyado para ikasal.

For the past two years, from what I know... Joe was a no girlfriend since birth type of guy. I wonder if he has a girl now... siguro naman.

I see how his expression changed when I asked him that question. "Uh... sorry, I didn't mean to ask you and be nosy about things in your li—"

"No, it's okay, Sab..." he smiled. "I'm still single and ready to mingle," he even joked.

"Well, I'm sure the right girl for you is just out there. It will come, you just have to wait for it."

"Yeah..." he said as we continued to walk around.

"Joe..." I said. I was dying to know the real reason why he didn't bother applying for PBA. He was one of the best players here in the Philippines, yet he chose to let the opportunity go. It was killing me. The curiosity was killing me.

"Hmm?" he asked without looking at me.

"Are you already playing for PBA?" I started.

He nodded. "Yeah, last year pa."

I smiled. "Really? That's nice. Tita Anna and Tito Bert must've been proud," I told him. "I'm happy for you. This may be already too late, but hey... still—congrats sa 'yo."

"Thank you."

"Joe..." I called again.

"What is it? Spill," he smiled like he was telling me that it's okay. It was just him and that I should feel comfortable around him. "You can ask me anything, Sab. We're friends pa din naman even after the break up with Juan."

I sighed. "Did he tell you?"

"Alin?"

"How we broke up?"

He shook his head. "No... can we talk about it?"

I nodded. "Of course..."

Nagpunta kami doon sa area kung saan nakalagay 'yung couch at saka kami umupo. "What did he say? How did you know that we already broke up?"

"From what I can recall, he just flew to Los Angeles all of a sudden... mom was even shocked about it. All of us were shocked about it. I thought he was just missing you. You know Juan, willing to do crazy things for love," he said and I smiled at that. "We concluded that maybe you needed him that time that's why he flew all the way to LA."

I just focused on the things that he was saying.

"Then, he came home after a few days... we were about to tease him that day, then we saw how devastated he was... he didn't talk to anyone except mom."

"How did you know that we already broke up?"

"Everyone just concluded. You deactivated your twitter account... then, no more cheesy posts. Then, si Juan... gone the inspired and in love Juan GDL," he shrugged. "We just knew. We just felt it."

I sighed. "Can I ask why Juan didn't apply for the PBA draft?"

"Oh, that..." he blurted out.

"I'm sorry, I should be asking this to him but I never got the chance to ask him. I'm just really dying to know why he chose to give his dream—"

He cut me off. "What? No."

I stopped. "Ha? What do you mean no?"

"He would never give that up. Not the dream. Of all people, you should know that, Sab."

"Then, why didn't he apply for the PBA draft?"

Joe smiled. "Europe is waiting for him."

And I just heard my heart breaking.