Ch.106: Well it filters through

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  "Can't even get drunk." Spike picked up another small bottle of whiskey. "Why would anyone ever make a bottle this small? It's inhuman." Angel was still silent and unmoving in his seat with that look of deep thought and sorrow on his face. "Thousands would have died if we'd saved her."

  "....Yeah." Angel responded barely over a whisper.

  "She wouldn't have wanted that."

  "Yeah." The brunette sighed. "Tried calling Wes. There's no answer."

  "Guess she's gone then." Spike mumbled, and I had to swallow the lump forming in my throat. "It's like a bloody tease. It's, like, here's what a bottle of Jack would look like if you actually had one. Or here's a drink, but it's very far away."

  "What does that mean? Really?"

  "It's a play on perspective."

  "Gone. What-What does it mean, that she's gone?"

  "Well, in the world of men, a person dies, they stay that way."

  "Unless you're a vampire."

  "Or a ghost of one that saved the world."

  "Or Buffy. Death doesn't have to be the end, not in our world. Rules can be broken. All you have to do is push hard enough."

  "Don't get your hopes up too high, Angel." I spoke up for the first time since leaving the Deeper Well. "Some things....just can't be done. We don't know if this is one of them." Getting up, I went back to where Spike was by the table of tiny booze bottles and sat down beside him. Pulling my legs up into the seat, I rested my head on the blond's shoulder.

  He shifted, raising his arm to wrap it around me while I curled up closer to his side. Spike ran his fingers through my hair in a comforting manner as my tail wrapped around my feet, and I tried not to cry. His chest rose and fell as he sighed through his nose before I felt his cheek resting on my head.

  Fred was gone. Fred.

~

  "So that's it? England was a bust?" Gunn questioned.

  "Not entirely. We found out where the sarcophagus came from. There were thousands of 'em." Angel stated while pacing by the windows.

  "Minus one."

  "What about this Drogyn character? He couldn't help?"

  "He couldn't. We were too late."

  "I should have seen it." Lorne mumbled. "Knox. He sang for me, and I should have seen it."

  "It's not your fault."

  "If I had concentrated harder, read him better, maybe Fred-"

  "There's a lot we might have done starting with never coming to Wolfram & Hart in the first place. We can beat ourselves up over it later, but right now-"

  "Sorry, Angelcakes. I-I got nothin'. I'm sorry." Lorne got up while shaking his head before walking away.

  "Lorne-"

  "No, let him go." Spike told Angel. "If he's doubting himself, he won't be any good to us."

  "Lorne's right. We should have seen this coming."

  "Wouldn't have made a difference. Drogyn said the sarcophagus was preordained to be released. Nothing could have stopped it from arriving."

  "....That's not completely true." Gunn said softly from where he stood with his back to us. "I played a round of Piñata with lab boy while you were gone. The sarcophagus was stuck in Customs, and it should have stayed there, but someone got it out."

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