The Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold

✖ Chapter 5 ✖

I thought I was fine with the whole ordeal, but Monday morning came and I couldn't focus in class. That realization smacked me in the face when Mr. Woo asked me a question and that was the second I noticed we were in his class. That a whole period had already gone by and my notebook was completely blank. Not even doodles were on it. My face burned scarlet at the looks I got.

I'd never zoned out of class that much.

An hour before lunch and I couldn't take it anymore. I asked Mr. Woo for a pass to go to the restroom, and even though I'd let him down earlier, I was still one of his favorites. He opened the desk drawer and pulled out the massive hall pass that our school used. It was the ugliest piece of wood that had been decorated by an elf that barfed glitter and paint splotches on it, and we were supposed to hang it around our necks like cattle. Presumably because it had to be visible from afar.

"Everything okay, Rory? You look kinda pale," he asked, concern creasing his brow. It warmed my heart and I offered him a smile.

"It's not my best day, but I'll be fine."

Those words echoed in my mind as I made my way to the girls' restroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and, yep, despite my soft brown skin, I really was pale. I put the hall pass on the sink next to mine and opened the faucet. Hopefully some cool water would snap me out of the trance.

Thing was, I started the school year with a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I hated it. Nothing justified it. When I thought about it, everything had been going fine. Mama and papa were as usual. Toni was at college, no doubt kicking ass. My friends were awesome, Courtney enjoyed life like I knew no one else did and Lina and her boyfriend, Matt, were seriously considering moving together after high school. The only thing I could think of that really mattered to me and would devastate me if it didn't go well, was my college applications. Since, you know, my entire future hung upon them and all that. I poured all my worry on it and all my frustration on Mr. Davies.

I didn't realize that something that was so completely out of my control, like Toni getting freaking pregnant and causing a huge chasm in our family, was what my bad feeling had been all about.

Things went really bad that night after Courtney left and papa came back. Words I never thought I'd hear were volleyed between him and Toni. Toni. She who had been the ever obedient, smiling child. Papa threatened with kicking her out of the family. Mama called that back immediately after, in tears. I was so afraid for my sister, all of a sudden. I never in my life would've seen things evolving in this direction.

And at the same time, what did that mean for me? If I misstepped, if I did something papa didn't like, would he do the same thing to me? Would he rather be considered a man without children, rather than a man with imperfect daughters?

The eyes reflected back at me welled up with tears. I opened the faucet again and splashed so much water on my face that half of my hair grew damp. I took two deep breaths. Then another one.

"We're gonna be fine," I told myself. I had to get myself together.

I ran my hand through my hair, to spread out the wetness so that I wouldn't look like someone dunked my head in a toilet. I had good hair, with body and not frizzy, and I looked just fine in a second. I grabbed the hall pass, but it was so big and clunky that it slammed against the faucet and I ended up dropping it. On the floor. Let me rephrase that: on the very gross floor.

I bent down and picked it up with the tips of my fingers, trying not to question the origins of the weird stain it'd landed on. And then I saw a scribble on the wall, right under the sink.