The Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold

✖ Chapter 36 ✖

I spent winter break in the baby's room. The paint I bought on my first date with Sawyer went to good use on the mural. Toni sat on the bed and watched me paint as she chatted about this or that. Sometimes it was about the maternity yoga class she was attending and how all the older women gave her judgy side eyes. We giggled together at the fact that Toni showed them up when it came to flexibility and general endurance. Other times she told me about something she'd done with Adam, but she usually stopped when she noticed me start to get sad.

"It's okay," I told her once. "I want to hear."

As she talked, I traced lines on the wall with my brush, creating the vision in my head layer by layer. I wanted mountains, trees, fog, a bright sun and soft colors that gave a dreamy quality to the composition. On more than one occasion we caught mama standing by the door, watching me work as Toni talked. But she never joined in.

"What do you think it means?" Toni asked me one afternoon as she drove me over to visit Sawyer at the hospital.

"I don't know, but she's freaking me out a bit," I admitted.

We'd been able to get Sawyer moved to a private room that was now permanently stuffed with flowers and gifts. I pulled up a chair and sat with him while Toni waited for Adam to arrive. They had a checkup with Toni's doctor to see how the baby was doing and finally see the sex. I was excited to find out too, but I really wanted to tell Sawyer everything that had happened since the last visit.

I spoke about anything I could think of, from the mural to the food we ate at Christmas. I told him about the fundraising. It was going so well that he was going to have some good change for after he woke up. Which was great, because he was going to need some help. Even though he was covered in pristine bandages, he'd suffered trauma to his head and the entire right side of his body was hurt so bad that the doctors didn't know yet if he was going to be able to walk and function sufficiently. If he woke up.

When he woke up, I reminded myself. I was sure he would.

About an hour later my sister and her boyfriend bounded into the room exploding in joy.

"It's a girl!" they said in unison.

I jumped to my feet and hugged both of them. I bent down and kissed the baby bump, and I was sure I felt movement inside. It was amazing how I was able to feel such joy in the middle of tragedy.

But life went on. I finished my niece's mural the day before the start of the second semester. When school started again, I walked down the hallways and sat in class but it almost didn't feel like I was there. I checked my phone compulsively, always waiting for good news because I refused the thought of any bad news. The doctors said that the longer it took him to wake up, the worse his odds got. Each time they said that I told myself that it was fine, the doctors had seen so many bad things happen to their patients that they were desensitized, they couldn't care deeply for each patient.

I could. I could pore all my hope and energy into Sawyer. He was going to make it out of this.

Mr. Davies and I had the big chat about my future on St. Valentines day. The date was kind of ironic to me, seeing that what I really wanted for my future was for the boy I liked to wake up.

Mr. Davies leaned back in his chair. "You've grown up a lot this year."

I didn't know if to laugh or cry about that. I settled for a shrug.

"A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do."

He smiled. "And what's a girl planning to do now? She has quite a few options."

By that he meant colleges. I'd applied to more than just Rollins, of course, a couple more on early admissions and three more for regular admissions that were local. I'd got admitted to one of the early ones and waitlisted for the third one.