The Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold

✖ Chapter 16 ✖

My lungs sucked in more air than they could take and at the same time my face heated up. A compliment from Sawyer Logan headed in my direction was as rare as the sighting of a comet. Judging by the way my heart was pumping, I knew I had to put distance between us, either with snarky words or physically. But my brain was kaputting as it sometimes did in his presence when my defenses were weak, so I took the next option. I shimmied out of the booth and ran the heck away. I didn't even notice Toni's table as I did, determined as I was to breathe for a moment—even if that happened in a public restroom.

I saw myself in the mirror, horrified that my cheeks shone brighter than red streetlights. I put my hands on them, trying to cool off.

Sawyer was dangerous to my health. I'd had that feeling deep inside for years, but it had been confirmed last summer. I'd been at the party that had been the talk of the school, where Sawyer and Lexie Cooper hooked up and gave rise to the legend of Metro High's resident bad boy screwing around with the perfect popular girl. Except that before being with her, Sawyer had been with me.

Let me backtrack: he'd been been in a room, having a beer, when I walked in and became trapped by the spiderweb of his eyes. We'd been surrounded by people and all clothes had been in place. But something happened.

I squeezed my eyes shut but I could still see it, the way his lips had curled as he saw me standing there and how the gravel in his voice caressed my skin when he teased me for deigning to join a high school party. "I thought this was below you," he'd said.

And it was. I'd been dragged by Courtney, Lina and Matt. I should've put more of a fight when they were trying to convince me. That was my thought as I turned around and gave Sawyer my back, but he followed me out of the room and into the hallway. I asked him why he was following me. He said he was merely walking in the same direction. People we passed gave us looks, no doubt intrigued by the odd combination we made. I faced him, ready to tell him to leave me alone, and trapped myself between him and a wall.

I didn't have a drop of alcohol in me. Sawyer did, judging by the bottle of beer in his hand. I fed him a line about underage drinking that just turned up his amusement.

He leaned down and I was treated to his scent. It was so good that I could have licked him, but I planted myself firm against the assault to my senses.

In my ear he whispered, "Don't you ever want to be bad, Rory?"

Right there and then, I wanted to. Desperately. He was so close. I could feel heat radiating off of him. It didn't matter that there was a crunch of people around us, shouting in tune to the music, chattering, drinking and probably doing worse things. It felt like it was only Sawyer Logan and Aurora Martinez. My heart fluttered with excitement and fear, so much fear that he was right. As I breathed him in I figured I'd have to be the one to put an end to this dance that he and I seemed to have been stuck in for years. I put my hand against his chest to push him away, but froze once I felt his heartbeat. Fast thumps against the palm of my hand told me that he was just as freaked out by this.

I turned my head, about to tell him... I didn't know what. The words died before I could form them, because Sawyer's eyes were dark and trained on my lips.

"No," I said. I licked my lips. "Yes."

I've regretted that word for months. It introduced me to a sample of those talents that made Sawyer so famous around school as to deserve graffitis in bathroom stalls. One of his hands came up, tilted my face toward his and with no further warning he took my first kiss. Or I gave it to him.

The thing was, even though he melted the bones in my body, I managed to cut it short enough to dash away, much like I'd done just now in the middle of the restaurant. But I'd dreamed about that kiss many nights afterward and I struggled to pretend he didn't affect me. It was why I hadn't wanted to do this assignment from Mr. Davies. It was why my friends worried about me hanging out with Sawyer. It was why what happened to Toni hurt so much. Because if I hadn't found the strength to pull away from him that night, I might have become Toni.