Spiders And Stars // Peter Parker/Spider-Man Fanfic

Chapter 36

"Asteryn? Peter?" There's a knock on the door and Peter gets up to answer it.

We've been left alone for the most part of the two-and-a-half weeks. I haven't left the room, but Peter's gone out to grab us stuff to eat.

"We're um... they're ready."

Mister Banner stands in the doorway as Peter opens the door wider and motions to me to come.

I push myself to my feet and join Peter's side as we leave the room, following Mister Banner through the compound and down into the weapons and engineering lab. I'm quiet, walking a step behind Peter as we step inside the lab.

I've been here before when they made my suit and worked on my mask. This time I'm not all that excited. I'm not sure I even want to be here.

I see them almost right away. They're set up on a sort of levitating display at the middle of the room.

They look like mine. They're made of my feathers. They're silky soft and still glossy. I reach out and stroke the feathers as everyone watchs anxiously.

A great sadness grips me as my fingers linger on the end of a primary.

My muscles tense and pull as if the wings were still attatched; muscle memory acting up.

"We can integrate them into your suit." The head of the team -a sweet girl that's not actually much older than I am- explains quietly, standing beside me at a respectful distance. "It'll take another couple days, but that's up to you. We could also make them like Falcon's."

Seeing them like this... it's... it's so hard to explain. They shouldn't be like that. They're not meant to be part of a machine...

It's distrubing to me. I know I should be happy. I know I should be excited. But I'm not.

"I'm sorry." I say suddenly, turning away. "I can't."

With that I rush out.

I don't know where I'm going until I get there, activating the training arena. I need to let some frustration out. Before I break something or pull out my hair.

It sends a new, specially designed cyborg bot out. One they made specifically for me.

I grab a sword off the wall and start to dual with the bot; deflecting it's lazer blasts and dodging others.

I'm soo damned angry. I'm angry at myself. I feel like an ungreatful little bitch. The team put it together for me to just walk out like that.

I'm angry because of the way I felt about it.

And I'm absolutly furious with those stupid Angel Hunters. How could they just walk away after doing what they did to me? How could they take that from me? I bet they don't even feel an ounce of remourse for what they did.

I draw a constellation and the bot drops to it's knees, drained of it's power source.

"Aster?"

I turn around, caught off guard with my weapon raised; which is now a spear.

I lower it when I see it's Peter, his hands raised in surrender.

"Aster, can we talk?" He asks, his hands lowering too.

I remain silent for a moment before throwing the spear into the wall in the opposite direction. It sticks straight out.

"Baby?" He lowers his voice, making it soft.

"I don't want to talk. I just wanna find the people that did this." I snap. "Then once they're gone, I donno. I'm done with being a superhero after that."

Peter's quiet, not sure how to react.

I sit down on the ground cross-legged and burry my face in my hands.

"Aster... why..? Why don't you wanna be a superhero anymore?"

"I'm of no use if I can't fly." I mutter.

"Can I tell you something Mister Stark told me once?" Peter sits down across from me. He doesn't touch me or try to catch my attention. He just sits close enough that I can see his legs as he folds them in front of him.

I don't object. It's not often that Peter brings up Mister Stark.

"He took away my suit from me once because I didn't listen to him and went behind his back." Peter recounts quietly. "So in the heat of the moment I told him I was nothing without my suit. Because that's how I felt. And he answered; "If you're nothing without the suit, then you shouldn't have it then.""

"It's not the same."

"I know it isn't, baby. But they made you a new pair. And you can fly with those." Peter's trying so hard to keep himself from reaching for me. I can see his hands balled into tight fists.

"I won't use them." My anger returns and I start to tug at my hair. "They aren't mine. They're made of my feathers, yes. But they're not my blood and bones. They're not my wings and they'll never be. I'll never be able to feel the lift and pressure on them. I won't feel the wind gust through them. I won't be able to feel them being pet and caressed. I won't feel them at all."

"Aster, please stop, baby girl." Peter breaks, grabbing at my wrists and pulling my hands away from my head.

I look up at him with blurry eyes.

He takes a deep breath. "Baby, I know this is hard. I can't imagine what it's like and I wish I could make it all go back to the way it was. I wish I could give you back your wings. God, I wish I wouldn't have left you alone in the street because maybe none of this would've happened."

Now Peter's eyes are spilling with tears and he looks down at our hands as he slides his down my wrists to cup mine together gently.

"It's my fault this happened to you, Aster. I knew you were drugged and vulnerable and being targeted and I still went after that stupid decoy. And I wish I'd never made that mistake because now you're suffering for it."

I lean forward, pressing my forehead against his. "You didn't know." I whisper.

He sniffles before he lifts my hands and presses a soft, lingering kiss to them.

"Can you please, please at least try the ones they made?" He mumbles, unable to look up at me. "I don't wanna give up on this yet. I don't wanna feel like I've ruined everything for you."

A tear slips from my eye and I hug onto Peter tightly with a nod. "I'll try." My voice is muffled in his shoulder. "As long as you try not to blame yourself."

He hugs me back, kissing the top of my head.