LETTERS

Part 1 : Anger, Sadness & Tears

THIS WORLD IS NOT FAIR!

No one in this world that I can trust too. They step on it, kick me, and yet just laugh on my trust. Even this world has laugh at me, and asked me to stop that all useless things I've been doing.

I wish I could shout out all those negative words to others. But yet I tried to hold it up.I wish I could punish everyone who hurts me and laugh at me, and yet I tried to hold my anger.A lot of wish that I wish it comes true, yet I try my best not to let my anger controls me.

I cry... I scream from the deepest of my heart. Yet, no one there to listen.

Are every human being are like this?? Why did they used someone kindness and pretend that they the one who's kind and claim us wrong? Why did they laugh at someone without thinking of their feelings?

They won't even care an inch. They don't care whether we live or die. They just think of them self. They don't care of what their action may cause. People may think I'm crazy. But truth is that this is how I express my feelings. How I try to relief all of my anger into words.

I wish I can express my emotion more freely. Yet, its been a long time since I hold up all my feelings. Trying to stay calm and patience throughout all that happens to me!

YOU'RE JUST SOMEONE THAT TAKE ADVANTAGES OF MY KINDNESS AND PATIENCE!

I give you MY TRUST, and THIS what you RETURNING me MY TRUST!

DO YOU KNOW HOW HURT IS IT THAT YOU THROW MY TRUST AS IF IT WAS JUST SOME KIND OF USELESS PAPER!! I WISH I COULD SAY ALL THE BAD WORDS TO YOU, DON'T THINK THAT I CAN'T SAY IT OUT LOUD!

I scream out loud from deep of me! I HATE YOU, HATE YOU ALL! EVEN THE WORLD ARE BEING CRUEL to me.

No one is listening. I wish I've never been born. I tried my best to face the world with my face facing foward. I tried my best to ignore all the negative words that point at me. I tried my best not to concern any issues about me. I tried my best not to show any gratefulness, happiness, sadness and anger througout my face. I try to swallow down all the word that I wish I could throw back. I tried my best to be gratefull for everything I've got.

Yet you ruined it. Nothing left in me. Not even me will understand. No one too will ever understand my tears, no one can feels it.

I cried in silence so no one will know my sadness and anger, while putting a fake smile up front. I wish I never gave you my trust.

Because you never know how hurt it is to be me. You never know what's the feeling to be like me.

No one can understand this feeling that has kept me to be unsocialed outside. Feeling of not belong to part of the world.

But if someday, somewhere, someone can understand me, I'll pray a goodluck and healthy life to you who ever is that. 

Than will you understand it ? Will you also understand it dear brother?

- Allzena Arisu