why am i still hung up on you? why do i still look at you and think about what could have been? what did you do to me that has kept me in this state of sadness and remorse and anger? i hate you, but i don't want to let you go. you have given me so much happiness, but so much pain at the same time. i don't want to talk to you, but yet i find myself checking my phone every 5 minutes to see if there is a text from you. i don't want to interact with you, but when you come up behind me and tickle me or poke me i can't help but to play along. i can't bring myself to make eye contact with you, which i'm surprised that you haven't noticed. you want to hug me for extra long, and i love your hugs, but now i find myself hyper aware of how long we have been hugging and how long you hugged everyone else in comparison. i don't want to see you and her together. you say that you love me, but do you? as best friends or whatever. do you? i think that you like having me around because i give you attention. that's the same reason you keep your ex unblocked, because you like that she still likes you and wants to date you. but she's so toxic. not gonna lie, you might be toxic too.
