i didn't realize what it truly felt like to be depressed until i couldn't stop myself from sobbing for hours on end. for no reason. and feeling absolutely no motivation to do anything that normally i love. and knowing that everything in my life is amazing and great, and being mad that i can't appreciate it, but yet still being in a state of sadness that is indescribable. that is what depression is to me. i denied it. i thought i was just having normal teenage issues. but no, this isn't that. this is something else, this is actual, real, medical depression. i need to come to terms with that and make myself ready to get help.