rogue → brandon arreaga

. 30

finally getting enough courage, i drive down their street and park my car on the driveway of the house i've called a home for the past four months. oliver had pushed me to the edge and i need to grab my shit until i can figure out what's going to happen with this deal or whatever.

i check the time on my phone and mentally pat myself on the back for memorizing their studio schedule. on thursdays, they're at the studio from eight in the morning to ten at night. giving me enough time to grab my stuff and go. i don't see brandon's car or the car they decided to paint and determine if i don't do it now, i won't be able to do it later.

i grab my key from my cupholder and head up the sidewalk, unlocking the front door. all of the lights in the house were off and all of the furniture was moved around slightly. i quickly move back to my room and unlock the door and nearly scream when i see someone inside.

"aspen, wait-" he begs and i feel like my lungs can't take in a full breath of air. i turn around swiftly and make my way back down the hallway. before i can make it to the end, austin, zion, and edwin step into the hallway and block my path.

"ugh! fucking move! god damn it!" i yell and try shoving them back.

"aspen, please. can we talk?" brandon asks from behind me and i run my hands through my hair.

"no, we can't. i tried talking to you and you went sicko mode on my ass. and now you hate me and i hate you so leave me the hell alone. all of you!" i demand but nobody around me moves.

"i don't hate you. i'm sorry for lying to you baby girl," he says slowly and i would find solace in his words if my vision wasn't clouded of him pushing books off my desk and screaming in my face.

"well, i hate you," i reason and he frowns.

"no, you don't. i know you are just saying that because i hurt you, but you don't hate anybody. you don't get jealous and you don't hate," he replies and i groan.

"leave. me. alone. please," i beg. as much as i dislike him right now, he's right. i could never hate him. i'm in love with every little thing about him, except his anger issue and that's what's scaring me away. i don't know what he is capable of yet and i'm scared of getting into another abusive relationship.

"i'm scared," i add after he doesn't say anything.

"what are you scared of?" he asks quietly.

"you. i'm scared of getting hurt. i'm scared of loving you with everything i have and having nothing left. i'm scared of not getting the love i need and deserve," i state and he sighs.

"i-i had a nightmare," he admits to me and i nod.

"you know those aren't real," i state.

"that's what we tried telling him. just talk to him, liz. he's broken. he's so broken without you. you guys need to talk. he hasn't slept. he hasn't ate. he hasn't left his room to write music," edwin admits and brandon glares at him.

"please talk to him, we're going to leave you guys alone," austin adds and they leave the house quietly. my mind tells me to make a run for it but my heart asks which way.

"w-what was your nightmare about?" i whisper and brandon nods towards my old room. i follow him into the small space and find a small table with a white table cloth on top. he moves my chair out for me and i sit down quickly. he places two silver dishes on top of the table and lays out silverware for us both.

"my mom taught me some recipes and uh, i made penne with tomato and basil sauce," he adds and i nod.

"how did you know i was coming today?" i ask as he lifts the silver coverings from the plates.

"i talked to your friend, oliver. i told him what happened and why i was to blame and all i asked was to talk to you. he said he didn't know where you were but would get you back to the house on thursday," he explains and i nod.

"the nightmare?" i ask him, again.

"i know it isn't, but it felt so real. i woke up crying and you weren't there so it scared me even more," he admits as his red eyes get watery.

"do you want to tell me what it was?" i ask, treading lightly.

"you left me. you told me you hated me. you said that our whole relationship was out of pity for me and that you only dated me, because you had too. that even when i asked you to be my real girlfriend, you thought it was all a joke to you. finally, i woke up and i realized, it wasn't just a nightmare. i had caused the best person i have ever had to leave. i didn't chase after you, hell, i didn't even call or text you. i'm so so sorry aspen elizabeth taylor. and i am completely and utterly, in love with you," he exhales and reaches across the table for my hand.

i get up from my seat slowly, standing over him. i move over to his chair and move it over so he is facing away from the table. i straddle his lap and lightly caress his face. he moves his hands to my waist and lightly caresses the area with his thumbs.

"i want a forever mister arreaga. if you can't give me that, i can't move on," i admit and run my thumb over his cheeks where his stubble has grown out from lack of shaving.

"i know, i realized that. and i'm scared. i'm so so scared of commitment. i've had so many people who i thought loved me and so many people saying they love me. but i realized that if i wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with anybody other than you," he admits and he moves one hand away and into his pocket.

"i saw on that one website you were on a few weeks ago, the one with all the jewelry. pandora? i couldn't remember what exactly you were looking at because you were mindlessly scrolling as i rubbed your back. but i got a ring, this one, with all the silver hearts and the one gold, represents me hopefully being your one true love and i want to give it to you. i know i mess up a lot, but i love you." he lets out a shaky breath. i lift his head up with both of my hands and press my lips against his.

"i probably care for you more than i care for myself. i love you too, brandon. all i wanted was some assurance of a future and you went off on me. please, work on your anger issues or this is the last time i'll forgive you. i've been through one abusive relationship and i refuse to go through it again," i whisper and he nods, pulling me closer.