This is me - Bio, Thoughts and Other Ramblings

Experience / Rambling: "Can I vent?"

Date: 04.06.2019

Okay, so this happened a few weeks ago and I really wanted to write about it, but life happened and now I only got around to doing it today.

Anyways, a few weeks ago, I am sitting in a classroom before class started and one of the girls in my class comes in. (I wrote about her before and there I called her Jess, so let's use that name again.) Now, we get along quite well - there have been a few hick-ups when she didn't do her parts of a group project, but all in all, you could say that we're friends. Not super close, but friends.

So Jess comes in, obviously frustrated over something. After dropping her huge handbag onto the table, she turns to me and asks: "Do you mind if I vent a bit? Do you have the capacity for it?" Which is honestly one of the purest, most considerate things I have heard all month.

What she vented about isn't really important - it had to do with her former BA thesis partner and drama between them.

But the fact that she was considerate enough to ask if I had the emotional and/or mental capacity to listen to her ranting and venting is just so awesome.

I am quite used to people coming to me when they need to get something off their chest, when they are angry or upset or feeling down in the dumps. I don't know what it is about me that makes people do this, but I'm not complaining. I don't mind. If they need somebody to listen and offer advice, comfort or just a sympathetic ear, then that's what I'll give them.

Don't get me wrong, it can be really exhausting playing mom / therapist for friends and colleagues and acquaintances, but all in all, I like doing it because people appreciate it and they usually feel better afterwards, which is what counts.

Still, it's so nice that Jess stopped to ask whether I was okay with her venting or not. Not many people do that. My best friend often does it when we text, saying something like "Hey, so I'm really mad / upset / worried right now, do you mind if I vent my spleen?"

But otherwise? I can't remember anyone ever checking with me if I was up to it before complaining to me or "crying on my shoulder" or something like that. Not that I mind, I am often more than happy to put my own worries and frustrations on the backburner to help a friend. It's just something that really stood out to me as a very nice and considerate thing to do.