My Poems: My Soul

Let me Leave Instead

I am mad right now. I know I won't be mad tomorrow.
That I will crawl my pathetic body back into your embrace the moment you arrive

But right now I am hurt. I know I'm needy but you know I'm fragile.
You messed up our routine
You know about our routine
You're the one that called it a routine

I like order. I like schedules. I need them. Then I know when you are here and I know if you are leaving me.
Are you leaving me?

It's been an hour since you let me down. I know you didn't mean to. I know it seemed like no big deal to you. But I've been crying alone on the front porch watching the bugs around the light wondering if I ruined everything. But how can I blame you when I'm always the one to ruin things

I know this is all so dramatic
Probably just hormonal female hysteria
At least I hope I'm being irrational
I'm sorry I ask for so much. I did not mean to be a burden.
I did not mean for me to need you
I'm so sorry I got attached. I'm sorry if I'm a leech sucking all the good out of your life.

But I'm just so alone. I find my self in a dark room afraid of sitting in the dark for one more minute, but more afraid of the brightness outside.

You make me less alone.
But If you want to leave, and you're sparing my broken soul, I'll only ask for one more favor
Just let me be the one to leave first because I cannot survive being left one more time.