𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ✄𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐤𝐢 𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐱

✄ 27 ✄

Mar's Mountain, 1983.
(Gwen's point of view)

By 1983 I was somewhat over what Nikki had done. I was completely over the scandal part of our use to be relationship but not the part where he threw a brick at my window. I still held a grudge with that.

That year was not so exciting for me. It was the same thing as it was the year before. I held a grudge with Nikki, I was still a masseuse at the spa in Hollywood, and I was still single.

But it wasn't the same for Chrissy. She had fallen pregnant with Mick's baby. I mean, I was happy for her, and I was going to be an aunt but that would mean more responsibility for her. In fact, she had quit her job at the Whiskey to be a full time mother.

After I learned she was pregnant, I was excited but I was also distressed.
'What if she needs to spare bedroom for the nursery?' That was the immediate thought that occurred to me, but after some time she had decided to use a room that they used for storage.

After months of decorating and helping out with the rest of the rooms, Mick and Chrissy's baby was finally born. A little girl named Stephanie Joyce Deal. They had named her after my son, who would be ten years old.

Stephanie was such a beautiful baby. She had a cute button nose, green eyes that sparkled like a lake, and tusks of brown hair. I probably could've braided it for how much hair she had.

The day she was brought home was the day they had invited the rest of Mötley Crüe over. They had just finished touring, fortunately for Chrissy and Stephanie, but unfortunately for me.

I had no notion they would be over, so when I opened the front door to the Mar's residence, I was greeted with a bunch of people sitting on the couch in awe with little Stephanie.

"Where's my favorite niece?" I said, turning around with a huge smile, but it fell when I saw Tommy and Vince sitting on one side of the couch.

'Fuck, if they were here then that meant-' My thoughts were cut off.

"Cute baby." I heard a voice next to me say.

I shuddered at how deep his voice was. I turned slightly to see Nikki standing next to me with a beer in his hand.
"Yeah." I said, below a whisper.

I looked at baby Stephanie once more. With her small face cooing at Vince and Tommy, it made my heart jump in excitement.
I sighed with a small smile forming on my lips and thought, "That little girl has my heart".

I admired the little girl for a mere second before I snapped myself from the entrancement. I moved past Nikki to head upstairs to my bedroom to change out of my work clothes.

When I made it, I was about to close my door for privacy but I felt someone push it back open to let themselves in. "Gwen," I heard Nikki say, poking his head in between the small space of the door.

"What do you want, Nikki?" I said, frowning.

I did the best I could to not look into his emerald eyes. The last time I looked into them was two years ago when I was completely in love with him. I was still debating on that thought, if I did love him. If there was a meter for my love for him then it would be at the halfway mark. I did feel the same feelings from when I first fell for him but now I wasn't so sure if they were as strong anymore.

With the things he did and how it was handled, I felt like everything had went downhill and that there was no coming back to where I was going.

"I just wanted to talk for a bit." He said, shrugging.

"Nikki, get out." I told him. "I have to change."

"Go on." He started forming a smile. "There's nothing I haven't seen before on you."

I looked up to meet my eyes with his. For two years I haven't looked into them until now. They were still that stunning emerald color but his pupils were huge. It looked like I was staring into a pool of darkness. I grew afraid of the look in his eyes in that moment, so I quickly shook my head.

"You're fuckin' high." I stated, making him scoff.

"No, I'm not." He laughed mockingly.

"Get out!" I commanded.

"Gwen, I'm not," He attempted to reason but I wasn't having it.

"Nikki, I need my privacy and I'd rather if it was not invaded by someone like you." I hissed, making his smile fall.

"You don't have to be such a cunt, ya know." He said in a rude manner.

"Well," I dragged it out. "I wouldn't be such a cunt if you would've kept your dick in your pants and not cheat on me." I said, bluntly.

Nikki frowned at my words but he leaned closer to my face. I removed my stare from his to the floor under my shoes.

"Even though you're a pain in my ass, I'm still gonna get you back. I told you I'm never gonna give up. Not until I have you again."

"You can try but sometimes it won't always work, Nikki." I muttered, not daring to connect my eyes with his.

"It will work, baby. Believe me." He said before exiting the small space in between my door.

My heart felt like it was shocked back to life. It was racing when I heard him walking away.

I quickly shut the door and locked it for privacy. I reached my hand up to play with my bottom lip out of anxiousness. I went over to my dresser drawer and rummage through my socks and under to find the only kind of alcohol I could sustain.

I had a huge bottle of Jack Daniels hidden in my sock drawer for times like this. Whenever I would see Nikki on the television, on a magazine cover, or his merchandise in the window of a music shop, I would always take a swig of whiskey to wash out his memory.

It wasn't working that well due to the fact that I had bought this bottle of Jack last week, and it's already half empty. I could still see his face as clear as day in my head.

I felt the need to down whatever I needed, so I twisted off the cap and sat on the end of my bed. Without hesitation, I brought the bottle to my lips and started to drink whatever I needed to make me feel normal again.

After a few swigs I had started to think about what I had said to Nikki. Maybe I still held a grudge from when he cheated on me?

I thought I had put it all in the past but I guess not. After two years of not seeing his face in person it had brought me peace but when I finally saw it today, it sparked the feeling of betrayal and disappointment yet again. I felt like I could never love him again if I tried.