Just A Stage Kiss

Chapter 11

POV: Jade

It's been just under a week since some crazy impulse forced me to go to Vega's house, and ever since then I've done everything in my power to avoid her. Being sure I was last to arrive to class and first out, ducking behind people in hallways whenever I saw her walking in my direction, ignoring phone calls, deleting texts, gluing myself to people's sides and striking up some tedious conversation just so I wouldn't be caught alone with her. It was pathetic really, but I couldn't face it. I couldn't face her and her questions and these... these feelings I got whenever I saw her.

Shealways made me feel something, ever since she first stepped into Hollywood Arts and that performance of Make it Shine blew my mind, although I'd never admit that out loud. I wasn't sure what it was I felt; it was like a fire that grew in the pit of my stomach, making me feel sick and near nervous at the same time. So I put it down to jealously and masked it all with hate so she wouldn't find out how she makes me feel. But now, I don't think I can hide it anymore, and that scares me more than the feeling itself.

I don't know what possessed me to text her that day, or what kept me hiding in my car for an hour, parked just around the corner from the Vega house, before I worked up the nerve to go to the front door. I swear, when no one answered the bell I almost turned and ran for it, but something kept me rooted to the spot, like my boots were suddenly filled with lead, and I remained on her porch, just waiting for someone to arrive. Then she jogged up, all happy and smiley and giggly. I hate how just the sight of her smile now made my breath hitch, it was usually something I'd try to wipe off her face but now it made me happy to see. What changed so suddenly? Just thinking about it made me crush the cup I'd been clinging to and automatically turn on my default mode- which, I suppose others would call 'bitch mode'- giving Tori a glare and snappy statements. It's a defence mechanism, something I have little to no control over, and sometimes I almost regretted it, especially when those sometimes involved her.

Something else I had little control over was my words. Things drop from my brain to my mouth without the thinking process in between, and that's what happened when I got there. I hadn't gone to Tori's to continuously tell her I hate her and the look on her face made me instantly regret it every time the little word escaped. On the surface she was just frustrated, but there was no hiding the disappointment and pain that lay behind her eyes, it made my heart lurch painfully against my ribs when I caught it. I hadn't gone over to play games with her, but that's just me, isn't it? Cold-hearted Jade West who cares for no one but herself. That wasn't true. That was never true. But that's what everyone saw.

And then I slipped and told her I wanted to kiss her. We almost did. Not just me initiating it, but Tori too. She leaned into me just as much as I to her... until her obnoxious brat of a sister had to choose that very moment to barge in.

So I ran.

There was no control over my feet as I raced back to my car and away from the Vega household to spend the next five days watching my every move just to avoid its youngest member and everything that had happened there.

I felt like such a coward as I sat at the table for lunch on Thursday, practically sat on Beck's lap as I tried to stay as close to him as possible, and as far away from the half-Latina who was just across from me. I glared at the burrito that Beck made me buy, but lay untouched on the plastic container, glancing up every so often to at the other occupants at the table, occasionally catching Tori's eye as she looked my way too, but I quickly broke the contact, I couldn't... I just couldn't look at her.

"Everything okay?" Beck muttered, nudging my side with his elbow and I flinched away slightly, not meaning too.

"Yes." I hissed, picking up the burrito and taking a forceful bite so I had an excuse not to answer anymore questions.