Scary Love | Bucky Barnes - [COMPLETED]

13 - Yearning

"Lily!"

She heard someone calling her name. Who could it be? Bucky?

"Lily, for fuck's sake, open this door!"

What? That's not Bucky. Bucky wouldn't curse like that.

Forcefully, she opened her eyelids and immediately squinted because of how much sunlight was invading her eyes. What time is it?

"Lil! Are you dead or something?"

She soon realized that it was Raj's voice. She groaned and forced herself to get off of her bed to open the door for Raj. The man was agitated and anxious, and when she opened the door, he immediately rushed into the house without even saying anything.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean? What are you doing? Are you really sick? For a week?"

"I'm not a superhuman or something, Raj. I get sick too."

Raj sighed. "I can't even reach you—you won't pick up my calls or reply to my texts. Why, Lil?" He glanced sharply at her, and her face was still expressionless.

"I guess I forgot to charge it," she yawned and held her sore throat. "I need some water."

She left Raj alone to get water, but her irritated friend quickly recovered from her attitude and ran after her towards the kitchen. "Are you dumb or something?!" He practically yelled.

"Raj, what the hell is wrong with you?" She didn't like being yelled at, and she was getting emotional over everything now.

"You have to check your phone now."

"I just said I didn't charge it—"

"Lily, Captain America called me this morning. I don't know how he got my number—and that's a dumb thing to be curious about—but he was eager to talk to you! The only reason I'm not angry at you for making me drive all the way here this early was because Captain Freaking America called me. Now that's a sentence I've never thought I'd say."

As Raj rambled on and on, Lily's mouth was agape. Her heart skipped a beat—Steve was trying to reach her? She got too anxious after three full days of waiting and overthinking; and it caused her to catch a fever—the binge-drinking didn't help either. She decided to turn off her phone and even Medusa—cutting herself from the outside world. She wanted to rest and not think about Bucky for a while. She was angry at everything, everyone: herself, for not being able to do anything; Steve—for not answering her calls and texts; even Bucky—for leaving in the first place.

She ran to get her phone, which she had put in a corner of her wardrobe. She quickly plugged it in and there it was—a bunch of missed calls and messages from Steve. Her hand trembled—was it good news or bad news? She almost didn't want to know.

Just as she was staring deeply into the screen, her phone vibrated and it almost fell from her hand. Speak of the devil, she thought. Steve was calling her again. She pressed the green button to answer the phone and slowly put it up to her ear.

"Steve?"

There was no reply. She got anxious again and gritted her teeth.

"Steve, I'm so sorry. I was tired of waiting and then I got sick and just turned off my phone and—how's Bucky? Is he... alright?" She was on the verge of crying, just waiting for the man on the other end to say something.

"Lilya... You're sick?"

She was frozen. It wasn't Steve's voice—it was Bucky's. She would never forget Bucky's voice. The way he called her made her give up and just burst into tears.

"Lilya?" There—he called her again. She only responded with a loud cry. She felt weak. The emotions that were bottled were finally leaking out, so much and so hard like a waterfall. Her knees trembled and gave up—she sat on the floor weakly. Her heart was aching so much from all the love she had for him. Covering her face with her hand, she tried so hard to control herself. Yet somehow the tears just won't stop.

"I'm sorry," Bucky muttered softly. "For all the troubles I've caused you."

"Bucky—no," she sniffled. "Are you hurt? Are you safe? The bombing in Vienna—it wasn't you, was it?"

"No, it wasn't me." She could imagine him smiling gently, and her lips curled into a weak smile.

"I knew it," said she, feeling incredibly relieved. "I knew you'd never do something like that."

It was silent for a few minutes—she could only hear his heavy breathing, and somehow it was calming. He finally spoke after a while. "Lilya..." he started, "I wish I could tell you that I'm coming home—back to you. I—I hurt people. I hurt Steve's friends. I can't trust myself. All of the things that have happened assured me into making this decision. I'm gonna stay here for a while; they can help me heal here."

Her heart sank. "But—where's that?"

"Wakanda—these people agreed to help me, and Steve."

"That means that I can't—" she couldn't even finish her sentence. She knew Wakanda was shut off from the rest of the world. It means that Bucky was out of reach yet again.

"I promise I'll get back to you as soon as I recover."

Lily wiped off her tears, frowning. "Is there no other way?"

"Lilya," Bucky's voice grew softer, trying to soothe her. "I don't wanna hurt anyone else anymore."

She sighed. Deep down she agreed—if Bucky thought this was important, she must support his decision. Well, it'd be very difficult to cope with, but they had no choice after all.

"You know, I don't want you to be sad because of me and—"

"Bucky, are you kidding? I have been waiting for you for two years, and I'll wait even more if that's what it takes. I promise I'm not gonna be sad. Well, I'll probably get sad once in a while, but that's okay, right?"

It was the first time she'd heard him chuckle.

"I'll see you soon, Lilya."

"See you soon," she replied, also with a warm smile—even though he couldn't see it. Bucky hung up the phone and she closed her eyes, holding her phone to her chest. It was still aching, but now with both happiness and relief.

She had missed Bucky so much.

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[Author's Note]: Time is one of our worst enemies, isn't it? :")