CATRACHA ━ marcel ruiz

xxviii. if only.

*✲ﾟ*｡⋆ 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐀 *✲ﾟ*｡⋆
[ xxviii. chapter twenty eight; if only. ]

☸︎

Elle laid in her bed, her room dark. The curtains were drawn and she pulled the covers over her head. A knock on her door made her frown. She didn't want to deal with anyone, not now. Her voice was muffled when she spoke, "I'm not hungry, mami."

She was, but she didn't want to eat. She didn't deserve it, not when she felt like it. She'd eat when she truly deserved to. But the voice on the other side surprised her. "Elle, it's me..."

God, no. No, no, no. Not him. Anyone but him. "Go away."

"Just here me out, please." He sounded desperate. Because he was. He just wanted a chance to explain. "Elle, come on."

"Why do you want to talk to me?" She spat out, her voice bitter. "You sure as hell didn't wanna hear me then, what makes now any different?"

"Because I was angry before, and I wasn't thinking straight," Marcel pleaded, "just one chance."

Elle managed to be strong enough to unlock her door. She let him in and quickly went back to sitting on her bed. "You get five minutes." She set a timer on her phone, watching intensely as the seconds ticked by.

        "Okay." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Um, I actually have no idea what I'm doing here. I feel like I owed you an explanation to what I did, though, because I was too sad to look at you."

        "Four minutes, thirty seconds," she muttered, refusing to look at him.

        "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for hurting you," Marcel began, his tone becoming pained. "Isabella and Ana are currently giving me the silent treatment, which I completely deserve. Isabella's even stopped hanging out with me, not that she does that much now that Ana's joined. But, anyway, I've had a lot of time to think about what I did."

        "Four minutes."

        He sighed, his head hanging. "I know how this might sound, but can we at least be friends?" A pause. "You know, maybe get a do over?"

        "Do you want to be friends?" Her voice sounded so heavy, so thick. It took a lot in her not to start bawling on the spot.

        "I do, yeah," Marcel nodded. "I don't want to make you feel like you have to say yes, but know that you're one of the most amazing people I've ever met and that I'll never forget you."

        "You make it sound like I'm dying," Elle scoffed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

        "So...what do you say?"

        Elle didn't know, if she was being honest. She'd had plenty of time to mope around and cry and feel like the horrible person she thought she was. She'd also had time to reflect, and she came to a conclusion. "I say...we can be friends. Whether we can be together again is an entirely different conversation for a different time, though. Also, we take it slow. Baby steps, okay?"

        "Yeah, yes, of course," the boy nodded wildly, looking like one of those bobble heads when you shook it too hard. "Baby steps."

        As if on cue, the timer rang. "Well, I guess you'd better get going."

        "I guess I should."

        With that, he was gone. If only she could see the smile on his face. If only he could see the tears in her eyes. If only they could tell each other they still loved one another.

☸︎

i'm unmotivated bc i feel like no one reads any of my books but i still update to make myself feel productive