24 Years (MxM)

Chapter 5

After I hang up, he tries to call back. I block his number, but I can't seem to will myself to erase his contact. I don't understand what is wrong with me. I'm filled with despair and anger. I have an incredible urge to grab a knife and end things right here and now. But, deep down, I know this is irrational and I'd be too chicken to do it. So, I call Marla instead.

I end up crying on the phone with her. After she calms me down and we talk for a bit, I agree to go with her and Josie tonight, clubbing, and get shitfaced. It's my fucking birthday after all. I can't let Matt ruin this one too. I put the cake in the fridge, uneaten. I had no intention to actually light the candles, but felt the cake wouldn't be the same without them. I don't actually believe in birthday wishes and all that superstition. At any rate, I'm too depressed to eat it. So, I busy myself cleaning up the beer and get ready to go to the club.

We show up at the club and pay the cover charge and get our stamps. The place is packed as we are a little late getting here. The music is bumping, people are dancing, and my mood is improving. The energy here is amazing.

"You get the table, and I'll get the beer," I say to Marla before we separate. I have full confidence in Marla's ability to get us a table, which makes me snicker to myself.

I work my way past a few people and walk up to the only open spot at the bar to order the beer. I brush up against the guy sitting at the bar as I try to squeeze in. He looks up at me and I smile politely. I am somewhat taken aback at how handsome he is. He's got the classic boy-next-door looks, though I would guess that he must be in his late 30s. He's definitely a hot daddy, and out of my league. Not gonna happen. Besides, I don't want to be somebody's boy. I hate that crap. Also, he's white and I'm Asian. I can't believe how many racist gays I have met lately.

As I make a quick order for three beers, I notice from the corner of my eye that he looked down at my hand and then to his beer as he took a drink. I'm not sure why, but I am a tiny bit annoyed that he didn't return a smile.

I make my order and now have to stand here while I wait. I felt a bit sorry that I am troubling the poor man as I am still somewhat brushing up against him. I overhear the conversation that the man next to him is having, something about an ex-wife and kids. Are they together? Are they bi? Gawd, I've been with precisely one bi guy and his idea of fun was to have a threesome with his girlfriend. Yuck, no thanks.

After a bit, the bartender delivers three glasses of beer. I give him my card and have him open a tab. I expect I'll be drinking a lot of beer tonight. I could have used an extra hand for the third beer, but I make do. I take one last look at the handsome guy beside me and give him a smile. Still nothing! Does this guy not know how to smile?

After a moment of looking, I find the table Marla and Josie grabbed. It's a table of four, but only three of us are sitting. If these two weren't my absolute best friends in this world, I would be ashamed to be their third wheel. But I know that they have never thought of me as that. In fact, I also know they're the biggest part of why I haven't self-destructed and ended up in a mental institution by now.

"Here all of ten minutes and you're already sucking face?" I say as I set the beer down, interrupting their make out session.

Marla looks to me and asks, "Baby, what kept you?"

"The place is packed. How can you ask that?" I sneer at her.

"Find anyone yet?" Josie asks with a smirk.

"In ten minutes?" I ask sarcastically.

Both look at me expectantly as I sit. Neither say a word.

"Well, there is this one guy, who's hot, but he's not interested."

Both of them start tittering and Marla asks, "How do you know he's not interested?"

"Well, I smiled at him twice, and he just looked at me. I think he's probably here with his friend, or his boyfriend."

Josie starts to look around and asks, "Who is he?"

"Forget it. He's just some daddy sitting at the bar," I reply.

"What? Since when are you interested in old guys?" Marla asks.

"I didn't say I was."

"Well, if he tries anything, I'll beat his ass," Marla says, pretending to get mean and flexing her arm.

"Marla," Josie says. "I think he wants something to happen to him."

"Whatever," I say.

About 10 minutes later, I need more beer. I get to drink as much as I want because it's my birthday and tonight Josie is our designated driver.

Marla exclaims, "Let's dance!" and Josie says, "OK!" They look at me.

"I'll join you in a minute. I want another beer," I say with a grin.

"More like another look at daddy," Marla says. Somehow that joke is creepy, the way she emphasized the word 'daddy.' But she is kind of right. I wouldn't mind another look.

Josie slaps her on the arm, "You're bad. Let's go make it shake."

Marla gave me one final, knowing look before she winked and led Josie away to dance. I let out a sigh. I really envy them. I was happy like that once. My chest started to feel tight suddenly and I decided it's time to go get that second beer.

Well, there were a couple of open spots along the bar but something inside me wanted to get another look at the hot daddy from earlier. I walk up next to him and we exchange glances. I smile and he smiles back, which makes my smile even bigger. He has an amazing smile and it feels good to be acknowledged by him. He suddenly looks away to his phone, like he was checking the time. What's that all about? Am I bothering him now? I realize that I almost forgot I was here to order a beer.