Almost Angel

I

Derek felt the weight of the world crashing down on him as he got back to his car. The shock that had filled him just a couple minutes before had left, replaced with a terrible, sick feeling that made him want to throw up.

He still couldn't believe his own actions. He couldn't believe that he had agreed to it. To kill her-

No. He tried to block the thought from his mind as he got into his car. He didn't have to do anything yet, so he tried not to worry about it.

But he couldn't keep it from his mind.

He looked down at his left wrist, at a small, familiar symbol permanently marked there. The tattoo they had given him at the end of his freshman year, when he had proven his loyalty to the group.

It was the same symbol that was engraved into the knife; the black, down-pointing arrow with a red slash through it. When they had given him the tattoo, he had only felt like he belonged. That he was finally part of something great.

But look at where that ended up. Now he was being ordered to kill one of his friends. His mind kept wandering, picturing what he would have to do, the terror that would fill her eyes as he held the knife to her throat-

He quickly threw the knife Mamba had given him into the glove box, closing it. I need a distraction. I can't do this, I can't worry about this so much. I don't have to do it yet, so I need to try and forget...

He started the car, driving towards the main road. He pressed the button to turn on the radio out of habit.

Nothing happened. Of course nothing happened, the stupid thing is broken. Right when I started needing it the most, too.

He pulled over to the side of the road quickly, pulling out his phone. It doesn't matter if my radio is broken, I need music. I need a distraction.

He quickly started some music on his phone, setting it in the cupholder. The music wasn't as loud as he would've wanted, but at least it was something.

He pulled back onto the road, just listening to the DCI music. He took a deep breath. This'll all be okay. It'll all work out in the end.

--/->

Derek sat up in bed, looking over to his clock. 4:17. Seriously?! It's only been ten minutes since I last checked?!

He groaned as pulled the blankets back over him. All I want is sleep, is that too much to ask?!

He finally sat up again, holding his head in his hands. He knew exactly why he couldn't sleep. Today was the day that marching band came started. The day that he would see Brianna again.

Up until now, he had been somewhat successful in blocking out his terrifying thoughts, but he couldn't now. He just knew the guilt would crash down on him again when he saw Brianna. He had to plan and carry out her murder...

But not yet. Mamba didn't give him a date he wanted her dead by. He could postpone it as long as he wanted...

My first decision in planning this out: it's not gonna happen today.

That thought didn't give him very much comfort, though. He finally got up, grabbing his laptop and headphones from off of his desk.

He sat back down on his bed, opening his laptop. He blinked in the new light, quickly turning down the screen's brightness.