Almost Angel

II

"Hey. Sorry I haven't come in a while, I just... needed some time here, I guess."

Derek didn't expect a response from the silent gravestone. He knew he would never get one, but he still couldn't stop himself from coming here. Somehow, letting his feelings out always helped, even if no one was really listening.

"I need some time away. I don't know where, just... not here. Not in this city. I could just leave for a bit, I have money and a car, and school doesn't start for another month. But I can't. I'm not just concerned about missing band practice, though I know that wouldn't end well. If I left... I could never come back. They would kill me if I did."

He clenched his fists, trying to stop them from shaking. "They'd literally murder me. They're going to if I drop out, or even if I try and fail. I don't think I can even try, though. I wouldn't kill anyone, even if it was someone I didn't know! But Bri and I have been friends for a while... or at least before I started being a jerk to her..."

He unclenched his fists, trying to take a deep breath. "I was just trying to protect her. But now look how that's turned out. I've been given the choice between my life and hers. I... I just don't know what to do. I've been trying to think of a way to stall the mission, or to cancel it, but I'm going to run out of excuses. Heather wants my plan done next week, and I can't think of a good excuse that I can give her. I think... it might be the start of the end of the line for me."

He shook his head, trying to hold back tears. "What am I supposed to do, mom?"

He looked up at the gray stone he was sitting in front of. He let a tear slip from his eye as he lifted his hand, tracing his finger over the carved letters. Hazel Struther.

"I wish you were here to help me," he managed in a whisper. "You'd know what to do."

He took his hand away from the stone, just sitting there silently. After a couple minutes, he looked at his watch. 7:36.

"I better get going," he said, wiping away the tears that had fallen. "Marching band camp starts pretty soon."

He stood up, looking at the stone for a second longer. "I'll come again soon, mom. I love you."

He turned around, trying not to look back as he headed to his car.

--/->

Derek was getting better at his fake smile.

No one seemed to notice how scared and tired he was. If he just faked the energy and enthusiasm that he usually had, then hopefully no one would ever suspect anything.

He had just let the band take their first water break. He noticed Brianna take her water bottle out of her backpack, scanning the room for a moment. She spotted one of the freshman trombone players who didn't have water. She quickly walked over, offering her own water bottle to him.

She had gotten a lot more social lately, talking with almost everyone. He wondered why, since he could see the fear in her eyes every time she did it.

He set his baton in his locker, pulling out his own water bottle.

"Hey, Derek!"

Derek turned around, pasting on his smile again as he saw one of the colorguard captains. "Hey, Aaron, how's it going?"

He had only seen Aaron occasionally before the start of the season, but now that Derek had spent time with him, Aaron seemed like a pretty cool guy. He was really into theatre, and he was probably one of the best colorguard members they had.

"I was just wondering," Aaron started, leaning up against the lockers. "I'm putting together a date night, we're just going to go over to my house and play some games and stuff. Wanna ask someone out and come with?"