Pride

3

You can do this, Luke. Just breathe. That's all you need to remember. Just do that and you'll be fine.

"Can I borrow a pencil?" I almost fainted when he whispered close to my ear. I tilted my head to raise my eyebrows at him, having to look sideways and quite a bit up to see his face.

"Why?" I whispered back.

"You know...notes and stuff."

I eyed him suspiciously for a few seconds, then looked down at the pencil in my hand and the backup pencil I always kept on my desk. I had a pencil. The question was, did I want to give him a pencil?

I didn't even want to be sitting anywhere near him. Chris, being the like bitch that he is, deserted his usual place next to me as soon as Nolan walked in, pretending that he "wanted to sit by the window". Of course, there wasn't a seat next to him by the window, and it was too late to change my seat.

So here I was, sitting next to my crush, trying not to die, and deciding if I should give him a pencil.

"Come on, Luke. It's just a pencil, and I'll give it right back."

The teacher shot him a warning glare, and Nolan smiled meekly, a look that didn't seem natural on a six foot tall giant.

"Whatever." I muttered, passing him my second favorite pencil on the world. "Don't even think about biting it."

"Eww! Why would I ever—"

"Just shut up and take the pencil." I shoved it into his outstretched hand, careful not to let out fingers touch. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I thought I saw disappointment in his eyes for a second.

"Chris always chews on pencils, and if it's one of mine. I just throw it away after." I explained, and Nolan nodded in understanding.

"I see. I promise not to chew on your pencil."

It was quiet for about a minute, and I was actually listening to what our teacher was saying, when I felt a slight tap on my arm. I looked over, annoyed at the distraction, and saw Nolan pushing a piece of paper towards me. I rolled my eyes in annoyance, but took the paper anyways.

Why don't you want to sit by me?

Yeah I looked over at him, feeling when I saw that he actually looked like it bothered him that I didn't want to sit by him.

I don't not want to

I shoved the note back to him, and he shook his head.

You glared daggers at me when I sat down. I would have gotten up, but it was too late

Chris usually sits there

Oh sorry

I didn't know how to answer that, so I kept the piece of paper we had been writing on under my hand, and tuned into the teacher. I thought I heard Nolan mutter something under his breath, and I couldn't help but look back over at him again.

He was looking up at the teacher, and I found myself staring at his profile for longer than I intended. I noticed for the first time the freckles right on his jaw line, running down his neck. I really didn't want our conversation to end, especially since Nolan had started it.

Also you smell bad from basketball

I knew he had basketball right before this class (I wasn't spying, I just sort of keep an eye on him), but I also knew that he didn't smell bad at all. Quite the opposite. But I had to keep the conversation going somehow.

I slipped the note to him.

"I do not!" He huffed indignantly, half the class turning to look at who had caused the disturbance.

"Something you want to share with the class, Mr. West?" Our teacher, the smug Ms. Henderson asked.

"No, ma'am." Nolan looked back down at the paper in his hand, and wrote on it furiously.

I DO NOT

Then why are you so defensive?

Shut up

I'm not talking

He looked at me for a full ten seconds, probably trying his hardest not to burst out in the middle of class again. Chris had looked over earlier, brows raised, and I could feel his eyes on me now. He probably had watched our interaction and was jumping to all sorts of conclusions.

I took a shower after practice

I could tell. He smelled amazing, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I had only met Nolan this year, and although we hadn't interacted much up to this point, I knew a few things about him. One of them being the fact that he always smelled good. I think he had an obsession with cologne and body wash, but don't tell him I said that.

Oh yeah, those communal, locker room showers must be so sanitary

I shower by myself

Being the natural worrier that I am, I jumped to all sorts of conclusions.

Why? Does your team not feel comfortable around you because you are gay? Do they bully you? I mean, I know you're tall and everything, but still...

He watched me the whole time I was furiously, scribbling, probably surprised at how long I was taking to answer his simple statement.

Uh, because showering with other people is just really creepy. Unless you are like in a relationship with them or something. Thanks for the concern, but they don't bully me at all. And, I'm not gay.

I got to the last sentence...and felt my heart sink. Maybe he was just a supporter. Maybe that's why he painted the flag on his face, and—

Nolan took the piece of paper back from me, shaking his head slightly.

There are other sexualities besides straight and gay ;)

He winked at me. He freaking winked at me.

I was so relieved when class was over. I didn't know how much longer I could keep up an actual conversation with my crush. I rushed over to Chris, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to our next class.

He asked questions the whole way, but I completely ignored them, clutching onto his arm with one hand, and holding the piece of paper tightly in the other.