Pride

4

It was Saturday. I could finally go a day without running into Nolan. It seemed lately that wherever I went, he was there. Some of this was because of Chris, I'm sure.

He was lying in my bed, completely at home at my house, like he had been since we were kids.

"I can't decide how to do my makeup for pride." He sighed, dropping his phone onto his stomach.

"I thought you already decided to do it like that James Charles video."

"That was yesterday! And as much as I love Sister James, I've had so many other ideas since then."

He picked up his phone again, and this time his face broke out into a massive grin. He began typing furiously, smile never leaving his face.

"What's got you so excited?" He looked up in surprise, as if forgetting that I was had been in the room all along.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you!" He looked so genuinely remorseful that I started assuming all manner of awful things that might have happened to make him look that way.

"Tell me what?"

"It's not bad news. Don't look so wretched. Sit next to me and I will explain all."

I took a cautious seat next to him, on the bed, and he turned towards me animatedly.

"So, remember school last year?"

"How could I forget school last year? Kind of a lot happened then."

"Right, sorry, that was a dumb way of putting it. It's just that for me last year, I kind of thought about this a lot, so when I think back on last year that definitely comes to mind."

"Chris, you're rambling." He always did that when he was excited or nervous. It was probably a mix of both emotions right now, since I could tell this was something he probably should have told me about before now.

"Sorry." He squeezed his eyes shut for a second before opening them, turning to look at me again with that grin back on his face.

"Remember that boy I kept going on about in math class?"

"What boy did you talk about during math class?"

"Not during math class. He was in our math class. It was the only class I shared with him, and I—"

"Couldn't take your eyes off him. I remember." It was all coming back now, and Chris nodded excitedly.

"Yes!"

"Wasn't he Hispanic or something? The name Gonzalez is coming to mind."

"That's his last name. Alejandro Gonzalez." He sighed, laying out across the bed and staring at the ceiling, and I couldn't help but laugh at how dramatic he was acting.

"What about him?"

"Well...I ran into him about a month ago at the store, and we decided to take a walk and just totally reconnected. We barely talked at all last school year, but he seemed to remember me really well. And then he gave me his phone number and we've kind of just been talking ever since then."

And why am I just now hearing about this?" Chris clearly had feelings for Alejandro, and I was surprised he would keep this kind of a secret for so long.

"Well, it just didn't seem like the right time. What with you being so infatuated with Nolan, and—"

"I am not infatuated!"

"Oh yeah?" Chris sat up on his elbow, eyeing me closely with raised eyebrows. "Then why the decisive tone, oh un-infatuated one?

"Well, you'd be defensive too if I started saying lies about you."

Much too defensive. Why couldn't I control a simple thing like my tone when talking about Nolan? Maybe because even the mention of his name was enough to make me freeze up and go weak at the knees. I don't know why I bothered denying it. Chris and I both knew I liked Nolan. It was his choice of words, I think. I wasn't infatuated.

"Oh, I'm sorry. How about obsessed? Is that better, honey?"

"I am not obsessed! That sounds creepy and stalkerish."

"I see we are still in the denial phase." He sighed, resting his head on my knee as I sat crossed-legged on the bed. "What got you so flustered yesterday in class? Seemed like you and Nolan were getting pretty cozy?"

"Nothing! We were just talking."

"Right." Chris definitely wasn't convinced, and went back to typing a reply to whatever Alejandro had said to him. I wanted to ask about them, but I knew Chris would just accuse me of changing the subject.

The silence continued to drag out, and it didn't take long before Chris got what he had set up to achieve by remaining silent.

"It's stupid really, but we were writing each other notes, and he sent me a winky face."
I knew I was blushing. It sounded so stupid now that I said it. Why had I gotten so worked up about it?

"Oh, Luke, you poor, sweet boy. You refuse to say you are infatuated, but you can't even talk about him without blushing. What's it gonna take to get you to tell him that you like him?"

He was sitting up now, hair messy and eyes sincere. Like he really wanted the best for me. Just like he always had. Just like he had when he moved schools just to be with me this year.

"It's not that easy!" The heat in my face made me irritable, and I hated that I was this readable.

"I know it is, but how else do you expect anything more to come of your friendship?"

"Can't he just say something first?" This had been bothering me for a while. If Nolan liked me as much as Chris said he did, then why was this all on me to ask him out?

"Luke, Nolan respects you, and probably doesn't want to put you in an awkward situation. You kind of push him away a lot, and I don't think he thinks you'll go out with him. He probably doesn't want to get rejected.

Besides, it was your idea to go to the parade together. I'm sure he hadn't even thought of that. But I know he would go if you asked him."

"You think so?"

"I know so."