Five Ticks 'Til I'm Yours (Dark Ticci Toby x Reader)

13

Okay, this would be okay, everything would be absolutely, totally, incredibly okay. You could do this, it wouldn't be so bad. Sure as hell beats Jeff at least. Were you ready for this though? To be honest, you weren't entirely sure. It was one thing scheming and planning, but to actually do it, to actually be intimate with a person like him. That was a whole different story. The man that had killed so many people, the man that had kidnapped you in the first place, the man that had tortured and terrorized you. Would you even want to live after this? Would being alive feel the same? It felt as if a part of you would die if you went along with this. The moral part, the ethical part, the part that cared about all life on this planet, the part that wanted to go home and fall asleep with no fear in the world.

"W-well?" he asked.

The key word was asked. It was your choice. He wasn't like Jeff, he wouldn't make you, and that just seemed to make it worse. As awful as it sounded, it would be much easier if he'd just force himself on you, at least that way you wouldn't have to live with the guilt. Sure, you can tell yourself you did it all for the sake of survival. Maybe it'll give you a sense of peace now and then, but not forever. You knew you'd wake up late at night regretting this for the rest of your life.

But what was the alternative?

Say no? He'd kill you then. No, not that, not just that. He'd torment you. He'd hurt you in all the ways he had promised to. You knew he'd do it too, your missing finger was proof of that. Was this an easy pass then? A get-out-of-jail-free-card?

Alright then.

One step at a time, take it slow, take it easy. Just start by unbuttoning his shirt, it didn't sound too hard, you could do that surely. Swallowing the fear, you hesitantly undid the button at the collar of his shirt. He didn't react, his hands on your waist as he watched you undo the remaining buttons. The guilt returned when you were out of buttons, his shirt now undone. Not knowing what else to do, you pushed the fabric off his shoulders and down his arms. Even in the darkness you were able to make out the faint scar that lined his chest where you had struck him with the ax. It was almost healed, and your hand subconsciously reached out to touch it. His eyes were locked on your fingers as you did, his breathing noticeably slowing.

Had he ever done anything like this before? Had he ever been with a woman? He was definitely inexperienced when you had first kissed him but kissing and sex were two very different things. Kissing was romantic, emotional, intimate, while sex could be raw and heartless. Jeff had probably had plenty of sex, but you were willing to bet that he had never kissed. So, was Toby the same case? He probably didn't force women like Jeff, but then again, who would freely consent to Toby? He was a murderous psychopath after all. Then again there were some crazy people out there, those that romanticized lunatics and what not.

"Have you ever...?" you decided you might as well ask.

He smirked at that, his smile loosening the intensity of the atmosphere. It wasn't an answer, but there was no point in pestering as he lifted you up onto the bed behind you. Alright, he might be a tad bit impatient. You couldn't help but crawl back a little, not entirely sure if it was to get more comfortable, or perhaps to put a little extra distance between you two. Either way, the distance thing didn't matter as he easily closed it, one hand tightening around the headboard as he leaned in to kiss you again. You vaguely saw his other hand working on his belt and quickly decided to focus all your attention on the kissing.

On a side note, he really seemed to be into the whole kissing thing. Maybe you were just that good at it.

You heard the belt slip through its straps before it was tossed aside somewhere. He stopped the kissing to get rid of his pants, giving you a few seconds to breath and wrap your head around what was inevitably coming next. Nervous. You were nervous. Not necessarily scared but definitely nervous and a little uncomfortable. At least it was dark.