One Lie

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Was it fun? Deceiving me? Making me believe that you're an innocent probinsyano?" I asked him. My eyes were being obstructed with tears.

"Siguro tawang-tawa kayo sa mga pinaggagawa ko? Kulang na lang ba sa akin clown make up?" I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Napapikit ako roon. Medyo nahihiya para sa sarili. I feel like my pride's been stepped on. I wiped my cheek. "Tell me Simoun. Did you have fun pretending that you were a virgin when we had sex? Letting me take the lead to protect your innocent facade?"

Kahit na pumapatak ang mga luha ay pinatili kong malamig ang mga mata. I only want hard expression to be seen in my face. I want him to think that these are just angry tears. You didn't break my heart, Simoun. I'm not hurt. I'm really not. I'm just mad. Believe me. These are just frustrated tears.

I wiped my cheeks again and laughed out loud to save face. I probably look like a mad woman, crying and laughing at the same time. "I can't believe I fucked someone I didn't know—Oh wait." I tapped my head for effect, like I'm an idiot who forgot something. "Hindi nga pala 'yon iba sa mga dati kong one night stand. It's just sex. It doesn't matter to me."

His eyes darkened. His jaw clenched as if I pushed a button. "Stop it, Eleanor Quinn. I know you're hurting but don't devalue what we had."

"What we had? We were just fucking, Simoun." Umismid ako. "At sinong gago ang nagsabing nasasaktan ako? Hindi ako nasasaktan!" I shouted but my voice broke and my tears were betraying me. These little wet fuckers.

Mas lalong naging bakas ang galit sa mukha niya. I don't care. Hindi ko alam kung may plano pa siyang sumagot. I'm tired of talking to him. It doesn't matter. 

"Never mind. I don't need to know. I don't need your explanation anymore. Ayaw na kitang makita. Tutal..." I shook my head and stared at him as my heart shattered over and over. "Hindi naman kita kilala." My lips quivered. "Hindi naman ikaw yung Simoun ko."

Suminghap siya. Isang iglap lang ay naupos ang galit sa mukha niya. Gumuhit ang ibang emosyon dito. "Baby, no..." He sounded like an injured wolf as he moved towards me.

Hinila niya ako palapit sa kanya. Sinubukan kong hawiin ang mga braso niya palayo sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung nanghihina ako o sadyang malakas lang siya. 

All I know is I'm sobbing now that I can't breathe. My eyes were closed and I am incessantly shaking my head. "Hindi ikaw yung Simoun ko... Hindi ikaw yung Simoun ko," paulit-ulit na iyak ko.

Idiniin niya ako sa dibdib niya at niyakap nang mahigpit. Naramdaman ko ang paghalik niya sa ibabaw ng ulo ko. "I'm sorry," he lowly whispered and slightly swayed to calm me down.  "Magpapaliwanag ako kapag kalmado ka na. You're too angry and hurt. You won't see reason."

Umiling ako. Parang kinikirot ang dibdib ko. Natatapalan lang kahit papaano dahil sa yakap ni Simoun. It's like hugging a freaking cactus. "Wala na akong pakialam. Ayaw na kitang makita," iyak ko.

"Magkikita pa rin tayo," mariin na sabi niya.

"Ayaw ko," sagot ko. Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin.

I sounded like a child. My immaturity shouldn't surprise me. I was young at heart. He might not be the first one to take my virginity but he's the first one to take my heart.

Soft knocks blared from the door. It was very effective in halting my tears. Ilang saglit lang ay narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto. I quickly pulled away from Simoun. Hinayaan niya naman akong kumawala.

"Ellie?" singhap ni Papa. He rushed over me. Sumulyap siya kay Simoun. May pagtataka at kaunting iritasyon na parang kahit wala siyang alam ay si Simoun agad ang sinisisi niya. "What happened?"