Once Again (Book three of the Changes series)(discontinued)

Prologue

Wow, it's been much too long since I have worked on this story. If you are reading this first, this is the third book, so check out Changes, and Redoing the Done before hand so everything makes sense. Many, many, many people asked for a third installment of this series, so I am delivering.

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TW: Disassociation, PTSD, blood, self harm

The blurry scenery flew past as Yoongi leaned against the window, his white hair leaving smudges on the foggy glass. His limbs ached from his physical therapy session, to help him walk after the severe trauma on his legs from the constant abuse he had gone through the month prior. 

"You ok, Kitten?" Jin asked from the driver's seat, glancing at him in the rear view mirror.

"I don't like that question." Yoongi mumbled, feeling his cheek start to go numb from being pressed against the cold window. 

"You know you can talk to us, right?" Namjoon said from the passenger seat, "Any and all of your feelings are valid." Yoongi nodded. He'd heard it all before, from a man that sat behind bars. He continued to stare out the window, muting the small talk that Jin was attempting to make. He had learned to tune things out instead of listening to the words of hatred that guards had thrown at him while he was captured, to disconnect from the situation. 

Perhaps that would explain the strange feeling that had surrounded him ever since he was rescued and Jin started taking him to trauma therapy. Disconnected. He couldn't take all the bad feelings and thoughts swirling around in his brain, so he separated himself from it.

"-gi? Yoongi!" The exclamation pulled the hybrid from his thoughts that he had been floating away in, anchoring him to reality temporarily.

"W-what did you s-say?" Yoongi stuttered out, surprised at the force it took to speak, as though his lips weren't his, and he was borrowing them.

"I wanted to know if you were hungry." Jin repeated. Hungry? The Cat-hybrid couldn't tell if he was hungry, this wasn't his body. He nodded, just in case he was, before turning back to the window.

Namjoon turned to Jin with a worried look on his face. Yoongi was behaving strangely. The boys had written of his behavior as PTSD, but they were starting to think hi s aloofness was not to be taken at face value. However, the cougar could not discuss stuff like that in the car, as he might upset Yoongi. 

After going through a drive through, the boy's started heading home. The silence in the car was tense, only torn through by the rustling of paper from the food. Yoongi picked at his food, the sight of his scarred and shaky hands startling him. Were those his hands? He didn't remember them like that. His ears flicked in confusion. Maybe he was wearing gloves, and his real hands were under them. He didn't like these gloves, so he searched for the edge of the cloth, his food abandoned. 

When he couldn't find the edge, Yoongi began to scratch at his wrist, desperate to tear off the gloves so he wouldn't have to see those terrible scars, these hands were someone else's, his were under, he had to find his hands!

Namjoon looked up into the rear view mirror to see Yoongi tearing the skin of his wrists with his claws, a look of fear plastered over his face. 

"Jin, pull over." He said, and after Jin glanced up to see what was going on, he came to a grinding halt on the side of the road. Namjoon grabbed the first aid kit from the glove box, throwing his door open and pulling Yoongi's hands apart. The cat stared at him, terrified tears rolling down his face.

"Th-These aren't m-mine!" He cried, showing Namjoon his torn up hands, "I don't w-want them! I need to find my h-hands, th-these aren't mine, they aren't-" Namjoon shushed him gently, starting to clean his wounds. Jin recognized the rant as a sign that Yoongi was disassociating, so he climbed into the seat next to Yoongi, placing a firm hand on his shoulder to ground him. 

After the two had finally convinced Yoongi that his hands were not hiding under the skin, Namjoon sat in the back with Yoongi to keep him grounded as they drove home.

"Joonie, I think something is wrong with me..."