The Ashes of Eden

I got nobody left to believe in

This call would definitely seal his fate.

No matter, how this would turn out they'd see him a traitor and either leave him to the cruel experiments of mankind or eliminate him themselves. Basically, he had nothing to lose anymore. Expect for his best friend, who he was determined to save.

Hell or better said demons were always open for trades as long as they were in their favor, one-sided and contained the suffering of their victim. Fortunately, he could serve them with all these things at the appropriate time. For once they'd be pleased, that he was asking for a favor. At least he didn't have to humiliate himself and beg them to answer his call, like that archangel wanker. 

After he had taken a deep breath, he let his life expire inside of his head one more time. Damn, after the 14th century his existence really had taken a very pleasant turn. All these temptations, guilty pleasures, and other abominations. He had been a master of his trade. Actually, his life had been quite fulfilling, he thought. 

Then a picture flashed up in front of his eyes. A prominent smile. The most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Brown orbs filled with so much love and hope. Flawless teeth, perfect lips, sweet wrinkles around the edges of his mouth... He sighed this was the point of no return. He had to be honest with himself now...

Otherwise, his damned soul would never make peace with the fading of his existence. Those lips he had always desired to kiss. To taste. To feel. If he was honest, he would know it all along. A few decades after the fall of the roman empire he had realized it... He had lost his heart to that angel. To a bloody angel.

Of course, he would have never admitted that... At the beginning he didn't even want to believe it himself. He had convinced himself, that those feelings would vanish over the years. However here he was, being the one to blame for the... the most precious soul on this entire planted -no, the entire universe- had fallen into heaven's disgrace. Also got tortured by those maniac megalomaniacs.

He felt like losing his mind. To be honest he wasn't sure if his sanity even existed anymore. A despaired, high-pitched chuckle slipped from his bruised lips. The burning hate towards all higher instances boiled up inside of him. It was all their fault!

Their eternal quarrel about who was more powerful had already demanded thousands of souls... But this time? This time they had gone too far. An angry hiss slipped from his lips... He was pretty sure he wouldn't make it out of here alive. 

However, if he miraculously survived, he'd choose their side. Aziraphale's and his side. Then he'd make them pay... The thought of revenge soothed him a little. Dumb fantasies. They wouldn't save him anyway.

For a few bitter-sweet seconds, he allowed himself to indulge in memories... Memories of the better days. Back then, when he didn't have to worry about the state of his angel, because he had known they would always be the constant in each other's lives. Their dinners. That soft, slightly intimidated smile, he had flashed him whenever they had gotten closer to each other. His angelic voice, "forgiving" him everything he had ever done. This time... This time he wouldn't forgive him.

Crowley didn't want to be forgiven. 

A few more tears streamed down his cheeks, when he remembered Aziraphale calling him "my dear." That was true. He had always been his dearest and longest friend, still the demon had never managed to call him by another nickname than "Angel". In his eyes he had always been the only true angel, in this damned hellhole they called the universe.

His head hit the wooden floor painfully, when they drove over another bump on the street. The pain shot through his body, challenging his bruised nerves. The shock enabled him to pull himself together. Right focus. "Laudate dominus tenebris, et in tenebris copias, ut audiat" (Praise the dark emperor, may the forces of darkness hear me!)" he hissed as clearly as he could.