Golden Days // The Outsiders

Chapter Four:

"Ponyboy, come eat," I heard Darry yell from the kitchen.

I was in my bedroom, working on my essay.

I decided that tonight I wasn't going to give Darry the old "I'm not hungry" nonsense. I hadn't eaten at all the entire day. Most times that I made the excuse that I'm not hungry, I was very hungry, I just wanted to avoid talking to my brothers at all costs.
Of course, Soda doesn't talk much anymore, anyways. But Darry always wants to hear about our days and all that.
Soda and I just stopped sitting at the table to eat.
I stay in our room, Soda sits on the couch in the living room and watches TV, Darry just eats at the table alone.
He used to drill us about not eating in the kitchen with him, but eventually he gave up and let us do our own things. But he still would tell us to come eat just in case something changed and we decided to.

I walked into the kitchen, surprised to see Soda sitting at the table, eating.
Darry was smiling. He looked at me.
"Hey, Pony," he said.
He looked happy and shocked that I was actually coming to eat in there with them.

"Hey," I said as I sat down at the table.

I can't even remember the last time we all ate in here together. It's been months.

Darry was smiling like a maniac. It's been a long time since I've seen him this happy. He looks just like dad when he smiles. Soda just sat there looking at his food while picking at it with his fork.

"So, Pony, you have a good day at school?" Darry asked me.
I shrugged, "I guess so."
I tried deciding whether or not if it would be completely stupid to say what I said next. I knew it would be pretty stupid, but I decided to say it anyways.
"So," I paused, "I got a nice surprise from Mr. Syme today," I said, half-regretting it, knowing there was no getting myself out of this one.
Darry looked at me confused.
I hesitated before going along with it.
"Yeah, he told me that you talked to him today, and you told him why I haven't been doing so good in school lately. I don't mean to start anything, but why does things going on in my life have to involve my English teacher?" I asked, semi-shouting.
Darry looked at me and sighed, "Ponyboy, I had to explain it to him. He needs to know why you're failing, he said.
"Yeah? Well now he thinks that I need to come and talk to him or the school counselor about everything. Stuff like is this none of his or anybody else's business and you know it!" I yelled. Looks like I'd lost my temper again.
It got real quiet for a minute.
I looked at Sodapop. He was covering his face with his hands.
Mine and Darry's arguments have always really gotten to Soda. He just wants us to all get along all the time.
Darry decided to break the silence, "Pony, you can't just let the past change you. You gotta keep moving forward. You can't just stop living 'cause you lost somebody. Haven't you learned that by now?" He said.
"Why don't you just-" I started to say.
Right before I could finish my sentence, the door slammed. It was Two-Bit and Steve.
Darry sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Woah, came at the wrong time I see." Two-Bit said.

Two-Bit and Steve are two kids who can't go a single second without cracking a joke, or just being annoying in general. They'll annoy the hell out of you, but you learn to love them. Well, I've never really been so fond of Steve myself, but you gotta love the idiot.

Two-Bit sat across from me.
Steve pulled out the chair beside Soda and sat in it.
Steve is really the only person who can get a single word out of Sodapop these days.

Steve looked at Soda, wanting to say something to him, but he was a little apprehensive about it, I could see it in his eyes.
"S- Soda, how you been?" Steve asked.
Soda looked up at Steve.
"Fine," Soda replied.
That might be the first word I've heard out of Soda in weeks.

Darry looked at Two-Bit.
"You know, I think I'd really appreciate it if you two knuckleheads wouldn't just barge in here whenever you feel like it, Darry said.
Darry was mad. There are a few things you just don't do, and one of those things is pissing Darry off.

Two-Bit finished off the last of his beer. A true alcoholic, he was.

Steve couldn't help but to catch a few glances at Soda.
I could tell that seeing his best bud all down and out really killed him.
Soda and Steve have always been the wild and reckless type of friends. So, Soda being so depressed all the time really got to Steve.

Darry got up and grabbed his plate. He put the plate in the sink, and walked out of the kitchen to his bedroom. Probably to get away from all of us.

Steve looked at Soda.
"Hey, man, I got this car I really want to work on, but I could really use another set of hands. Any takers?" Steve asked. He looked at all three of us, but I know he just wanted Sodapop.
"Not happening," I said.
Steve looked at me and rolled his eyes. "Wasn't asking for your help, smartass," He said.
I really can't stand Steve Randle sometimes.

Two-Bit chuckled. "Okay, I'm gonna need you two ladies to stop flirting for my own health." Two-Bit laughed and winked at me. He stood up and walked to the fridge. He opened it and grabbed another bottle of beer. He opened the bottle, and took a drink of it.
"Yeah, I know you'd just love for me to help you, Stevieboy, but I think you'd better ask Soda," Two-Bit said while sitting back down in his chair.
Soda looked up. Steve looked at him.
"What do you say, man?" Steve asked.
Soda nodded his head. "All right. Yeah," Soda said.
Steve and Soda stood up and walked out the door, which left only Two-Bit and I.

Two-Bit looked at me, and chugged his beer as if his life depended on it. After finishing it, he sat the beer down on the table.

"So, kid, how's everything been?" Two-Bit asked, looking at me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
It's hard to tell when he's joking or not.
"I mean school, life, everything," He replied.
Is he about to ask me what everyone has been asking me lately?
"Everything's . . . fine." I hesitated before saying the word "fine."
Everything is always just fine. I'm fine, life's fine, everything's just fine.

He sighed. "Look, I know everything has been pretty hard lately. I know. But is that how Johnny would want you to feel?" He asked, sympathy clear in his voice.
I gave a sharp look at him.
"Did you just-" I started to say.
I couldn't even get a finish my sentence.
I felt the hot tears in my eyes again.
"Pony," he paused, "We can't just go without talking about it forever. Johnny-"
"Stop saying that!" I cut him off.
"Saying what? Johnny?" He asked.
He was killing me.
"Oh, my- Yes! And we haven't been going forever without talking about it, it's all everyone wants to talk about!" I yelled.
He looked at me with that look. The sympathy look. It's impossible for me to even begin to explain how much I cannot stand that look.
"Would you stop looking at me like that?" I was about to snap at him too.
"Looking at you like what?" He asked.
"The way everyone looks at me!" I yelled.
I felt a tear slide down my right cheek.

Darry came in the room. He noticed the tear on my cheek, and the look on Two-Bit's face.
He stopped.
"Everything okay in here?" Darry asked.
Darry looked at both of us with concern.
He sighed. "Look, Pony, if this is about Johnny and all that, I really think you should-"
"Damn it, would you just shut up?! Everyone just shut the hell up for five minutes, please!" I yelled, with my hands covering my ears.

I then ran to mine and Soda's room.

I slammed the door shut, and laid down on our bed with tears streaming down my face. They never know when to just shut the hell up.