THE STARS ARE BEAUTIFUL - WATTYS AWARD NEW ADULT WINNER 2019

Callum | Chapter 18

AFTER MONTAUK, my only connection to Everly was through Brighton being my attending, but this was a man who didn't even bother to hang pictures of his daughter in his house. I couldn't find her in his shadow.

During the hours where the hospital fell quiet and patients slept, I thought about her most. I thought about calling her, but she didn't have a phone. I scrolled through my social media accounts, but she had told the truth: there were no Everly Brighton results in any search boxes.

And when the night was at its darkest, her words haunted me before I closed my eyes for a moment of rest.

I've never really mattered much to anyone.

I dreamt of her when my eyes were closed...

***

"What is the mask for?" I asked as we crawled into bed. Salty air filled the room as moonlight illuminated her face.

"Keeps my eyes safe."

"And the gloves?"

"Keeps everything safe."

I leaned down. "What's going to keep me safe, Everly Anne?"

She smiled up at me. "This huge T-shirt I'm wearing."

***

...I longed for her when my eyes were open.

After fifteen hours of avoiding Tatum in the hospital hallways, I caved and agreed to take her ice skating at Rockefeller Center. It was my duty when Nick was away: comfort and care for her. I didn't give a shit about ice-skating.

She smiled as we went around the rink, crowded by happy, red-nosed children and kissing couples.

"Don't get any ideas, Callum."

I pulled her knitted hat over her eyes.

"This is depressing," I admitted. "Why are we doing this, Tater?"

"Skating? What are you, the Grinch?"

"Look how happy all of these people are. What's wrong with them?"

She laughed, shoving my arm. "It's called love, love, love."

"I want to die. Right now. Club me with your skate and end this misery. It's what a true best friend would do."

Tatum turned around, skating backward so she could face me. "Did you break up with Everly or something?"

"Something."

Her face softened. "I haven't seen much of you. I had no idea. Sorry. What happened?"

"Her fuckin' father. Life in general. My bad-ass luck. Pick one."

"You guys were so happy in the summer." She frowned.

"Does it look like fuckin' summer?" I motioned around to the holiday cheer. "Does anything ever last in my life, Tot?"

She fisted my sweater and pulled us to the edge of the rink. I leaned my elbows on the wall and breathed.

"Tell me what happened," she demanded.

"Dr. Brighton used me to scare her, and I fuckin' walked right into his trap. I let him do it. The whole Montauk trip, it was meant to divide us."

"How?"

"It's too long of a story, Tot." I rubbed my face. "All that matters now is if I go against him, I'll lose my career."

"Is that more important than Everly?"