THE STARS ARE BEAUTIFUL - WATTYS AWARD NEW ADULT WINNER 2019

Callum | 39

I PLACED A HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILL on the counter when a sandy-haired clerk greeted me in a little shop in Montauk. She traded me the bill for a car full of red, heart-shaped balloons, told me they were pretty as she filled them painfully slowly one by one, allowing charm to be bullied by doubt.

Anne.

That was the name on her tag.

***

The beach house was too loud. On the walls, memories of her laughter hung like fine art.

But it was the boat that troubled me the most.

Red balloons were my only companions in the room, even though every part of her gathered just within arms-reach. The sheets still smelled like her... Not detergent, not cotton or silk..., just her warmth. It smelled like the night she'd curled up beside me in my bed, the night she'd rested her chin on my shoulder and told me I was her favorite. To box it all up and hide these memories away was to foolishly dream that it could make it all go away. And the truth was I didn't want it to go away. I wanted it all to come back.

***"Ready?" I asked him.

Nick detached the ropes from the ceiling. "Let's fucking do this, brother."

With the cover of darkness, while everyone else slept, we snuck the boat down to the beach and hid it beneath the dock.

***

I expected to wake up that year, on the Fourth, with a heavy weight on my chest, but surprisingly, it felt like I was smiling.

Blonde hair blew through my window as I stared into the sunlight, searching for her face. Finally, she turned to me. "Morning, Callum Andrew."

"Everly Anne?"

"Get up," she said gently. "Go on, get up."

"Everly Anne," I whispered. "Come to me." I tried to reach for her, but my arms were heavy as stone.

"I'm here, Callum Andrew. Now get up. It's time for you to go."

"I don't want to go anywhere but with you."

She was suddenly beside me on the bed. I felt the warmth of her hand on my cheek, but she never moved to touch me. I wept in my dream, but my eyes were bone dry.

"I want to see the fireworks," she whispered. "I need you to show them to me."

"I will." I tried to find her hand. I reached for her face, but there was nothing but the electricity of her presence.

"I need to feel, Callum Andrew." I felt a million feather-light kisses on my face. "I need to feel."

Fireworks ignited like bombs. Red. Blue. Silver. Boom. We kissed on the beach. Boom. Blue. Red. Underwater. Boom. Goosebumps under my fingertips as I slid them along her ribs. Boom.

"Callum."

"Everly."

"Cay-lum!"

Every part of me vibrated as I fought to stay locked inside of the dream. I fought to see her blonde hair shining in the sunlight, the warmth, the memory.

"Callum. Oh, Callum!" Tatum's hand was on my sweaty head,soothing. "It's okay," she said. "It's only a nightmare. Wake up, please.""It was a dream," I panted, blinking my eyes.

"Yes. A nightmare. I was trying so hard to wake you up before Andy—"

I snapped. "No! It was a dream! Why did you wake me up? I was dreaming of her..." My insides twisted.