𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖋 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓, 𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖋 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑

Mazikeen #45

The whole morning I continued working with Tony on the Lou-shoes. At about 12 a.m Tony went away to get some food and meet some Avengers and Nick Fury. He didn't want to tell me what the meeting was about, so I deduced it must have been something really important. I absolutely didn't want to see anyone, or do anything. I was just working on Lucy's shoes alone, listening to some music for half of the day, until Tony came in again, looking a bit pissed as he saw me. »What are you still doing here?  The others are already wondering where you are it's lunchtime so come upstairs and take a break.« He said, immediately getting my attention. »Not hungry, and this is my break.« I answered. »That wasn't a question Mazikeen.« His voice was strict and he was obviously not willing to argue. I looked at him, not saying anything also not about to follow him upstairs. That was the only place I could be alone, doing what I like, completely undisturbed, I wouldn't leave this place so easily. »Alright, that's enough. Friday?! Get her out of this room and lock the door, I'll give you a password later.« My jaw dropped as he just left. »As you wish Sir.« Friday's voice appeared, right after one of his suits moved towards me. Friday wrapped her arms around my body, not letting me move in any way. »Back off you lil' bitch!« I screamed but I knew she won't give up that easily. As we got out of the workshop, the door closed immediately and I heard a loud click as it locked. I kicked into the suit, which immediately broke into its pieces. »I apologize Mrs. Stark.« She said and I rolled my eyes. »Don't call me that ever again, this traitor just proved, he isn't my dad.« I complained in rage and went upstairs to the training room.

It was completely obvious that I wouldn't eat something or meet the others like Tony wanted me to. I was so mad at him, I just had to let out my aggression before I would have hurt someone. I entered and sighed slightly annoyed as I saw Steve punching one of the punching bags. I went towards another on, starting to punch it alternately left and right. My hits went quicker regularly and I felt my own weakness. I was so tired and exhausted, maybe because I slept and ate too little, but I felt so overstocked even though I had not eaten anything. Yeah, I even felt a bit nauseous. Tearing up, I punched faster and harder. I started using my feet too and it didn't take much time and I hit completely uncontrolled. I just punched wildly against it, gasping because I was so sick of my life.

All those feelings drove me insane. My whole life I was forced to suppress any kind of emotion. All of a sudden Steve came into my life letting me feel love or whatever it was. I had a father, even though we didn't really get along that well. There were people like Peter, a friend I've never had and Tony, of course, caring for me like he was my dad. This all was so much in this short period of time, I just couldn't handle it. I recognized my blades appearing due to my excitement, which just made everything worse. I couldn't control these freaking things, they just appeared whenever they wanted to. I stabbed the punching bag, completely destroying it.

Suddenly someone wrapped his arms around me from behind, just like Friday did it before with one of Tony's suits. I tried to get free, but I was so weak I wasn't able to hit controlled. As I finally calmed down and stopped punching, he let me turn around to face Steve. A short eye-contact in silence, then I started hitting his chest to get free again. I didn't recognize that I cut him, because I forgot that these blades were still there. He struggled to catch my hands and after a few seconds of failing, he just pulled me into a tight hug. I sank into his arms crying out the little amount of water, which was left in my body. He moved his hands up and down my back, trying to comfort me, stopping me from sobbing. »It's alright Maze.« He said but didn't believe in his own words, because my whole body was shaking uncontrolled. My skin was cold and pale. I was just about to throw up, due to the horrible nausea. I pulled away from Steve, shivering I stood up. As Steve did the same, something fell out of his pockets. As it hit the ground it burst open and reviled a compass with a picture of Peggy in it. I looked at Steve's stunned face and felt a wave of embarrassment and guilt coming from him. My anger level rose to 180 within a second and I couldn't help but step on the damn thing to destroy it. Tears coming up I looked into his hurt eyes. I knew it was wrong, I knew he would hate me for what I just did but I couldn't control my actions anymore. I turned around, willing to kill everyone coming through my way.

I made a few steps, already getting dizzy. The black points hopped in front of my eyes, taking my sight. My ears got numb, as I finally saw nothing but darkness anymore. My feet buckled and gave up, letting me sink to the ground. My body was shaking like hell also after I fainted. The restless sleep didn't last long and I woke up again. Big, muscular arms holding my skinny, fragile body. Steve. Weakly I lay my hand on his chest, tapping on it to free myself, but he didn't react. »How could you let this happen? Bruce? How is she?« Tony's upset voice appeared beside us. »She'll be alright, she dehydrated.« Bruce explained calmly.

Sometime I was laid into a bed. Immediately I realized it was my bed, thank god, not this terrible bright hospital room. Steve moved his hand over my cheek to remove his own blood, caused by my blade attack, before leaving without a word. I wanted to sit up, to get after him, maybe to apologize but I was pushed down again from Tony. Without resistance I let myself sink onto my black pillow. The only thing I remembered was reaching for a hand to hold, breathing heavily, then my eyes closed and I drifted away into the infinite darkness I adored so much. Oh girl if only I had known, which nightmare would haunt me in a few moments, which monsters hid in this relaxing darkness, I would have fought with my life to stay awake.